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A Therapeutic Dilemma 89
tool rather than the other way around: being enslaved by mind’s emotions. It allows for the deepest kind of true insight—an insight which clearly intuits which issue, earthly or spiritual, must be dealt with first, and how. And it brings deep and abiding peace.
A DECISION TO MAKE
Now we’re ready to return to my patient, A.T. I had a decision to make: was she facing a psychological or a spiritual problem? Was I to concern myself with helping A.T. protect her psyche by finding a defense against her stark vision of finiteness? Or was she strong enough now to be left alone, face to face with it, to accept it and to open to the divine more deeply through it?
I decided that she was facing a legitimate spiritual experience and that her psyche was strong enough to accept this vision and its possible invitation to transcendence. We had been here before— through her mental fears and desires, through our discussions about spirituality and my suggestions of techniques and approaches for her to follow. We had gone over the ways to prepare consciousness for its expansion into the spiritual dimension.
In order to take the next step, she would have to make a decision herself. Was she willing to face her own mortal fear and relinquish her mind for a possible transcendental solution? Was she ready to leave the security of her old attachments to mind for the possibility of an instantaneous flash of insight into the real nature of existence? Was she ready to take more seriously to the spiritual path?
You must have not only freedom from fear, but freedom from hope and expectation. Trust in my wisdom; I do not make mistakes. Love my uncertainty! For it is not a mistake. It is my intent and will. Remember, nothing happens without my will. Be still. Do not want
to understand; do not ask to understand. Relinquish understanding. Relinquish the imperative that demands understanding.
Meditate upon the feeling between waking and sleeping, knowing how immediate, how close, how deeply compatible it is. There is the feeling of really giving up: the body is limp. Awareness too is limp. Let the feeling of God overcome you like sleep. (Sathya Sai Baba)