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secretary, helping with correspondence; another regularly brought food. As Jack declined in strength and could not care for himself, we brought in a 24-hour aendant. Throughout this ordeal, Jack was always in good spirits.
Every time I visited, Jack greeted me with a smile that became purer and more serene as the days passed. One day I phoned to ask how he was. He told me that his legs were over the side of the bed and he was considering whether to try to stand. I asked what was more difficult, going to Japan and giving 35 talks in 10 days or geing out of bed this morning. With a great laugh, he replied, “Well, old boy, I think geing out of bed this morning is a harder task.”
During one visit, Jack surprised me by saying, “Sam, I hope I am not disappointing you.” Even when extremely weak, he wanted to give me his heart. I said, “Jack, don’t talk like that. How could my dear brother ever disappoint me? You are going through a great ordeal and still you are thinking of me. You are my big brother, a wonderful role model, and all I see is your courage and faith. Even in crisis, you are a living example of Swami’s teachings. In fact, I wonder how you can stay so even in mood. Why aren’t you angry and resentful?” Jack looked at me with innocence and asked, “Do you think I should be angry?”
I was moved by Jack’s equanimity in the face of death and replied, “No, Jack. It is natural for you to be full of faith in Swami and content with his will.” I then asked, “Jack, do you feel close to Swami? Has he paid you a visit?” Jack said, “I haven’t felt him actually come here to be with me, but I know he is always around. You know, Sam, although it is important to know who to hold onto, it may be even more important to know what not to hold onto. Remember, never dip your hand in the stream of karma; rather, remain detached.”
I wondered why Swami didn’t take Jack quickly. Why would he have Jack watch himself slowly lose mental and physical power? Is there a lesson in experiencing the impermanence,
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