Page 83 - Keralite Magazine _new 1 copy

KERALITE
2018

internal pain and torture They will blame the victim for
onto. People who are everything that is not right in
hooked and 'hang on' A narcissistic their life; blame them for
make the perfect what other people do or for
subjects to abuse. If you relationship commonly whatever happened, even for
begin to feel confused in starts as a 'whirlwind the abuse toward the victim.
your relationship and This phase is the Devaluation
have strange vague romance' if he / she phase. At this phase the
feelings that something decide you are desired victim is constantly
isn't right, don't simply subjected to bouts of “silent
rationalize and shake as a partner, you'll be treatments”- the narcissist’s
these feelings o . If wined, dined, seduced, way to punish the victim for
you're in a relationship disobeying them, not being
with a true narcissist, by bought and wooed. the source they want them to
the time their personality be or just to keep them away
is obvious, you're from their life. This can
hooked, empty and stretch for months. To them,
exhausted and powerless to protect yourself and you were a supply, and all shows of love, a ection
your self-esteem. All narcissistic relationship go and empathy are constructed to lure you as this
through a set of three stages- IDEALIZATION, source. Ultimately you are not a person, you are a
DEVALUE and DISCARD 'thing' to feed o and sustain his / her existence.
And when the narcissist has destroyed you to the
A narcissistic relationship commonly starts as a point where there is nothing left to gain, or you
'whirlwind romance' if he / she decide you are don't supply him / her with enough narcissistic
desired as a partner, you'll be wined, dined, supply, the narcissist will find another source and
seduced, bought and wooed. “Love bombing” another and then another. The cycle doesn't end.
occurs at this stage. It is a phase where they
constantly shower their victims with attention, in When the victims asks for compromise, reciprocity,
the form text messages throughout the day, phone empathy, integrity, honesty, and boundaries, the
calls, putting you on a pedestal. You are the person with narcissism may decide that the target
soulmate he/she was waiting for and you are so has lost his or her luster and is tarnished—no longer
di erent from the rest of his crazy ex’s, promises of the “perfect partner” to boost their ego. Inevitably,
a future together, and designation, essentially, as the discarding occurs when the person with
the most special person ever. This phase is, narcissism either disappears or orchestrates his or
Idealization phase. The goal of “Love bombing” is to her own abandonment by engaging in some form
get you hooked to the attention which will be taken of eminent emotional abuse. They discard and
away from you soon enough. move on to the next supply like you never existed.
This is the Discard Phase. The outcome is often
Soon after you get hooked to them and their shocking for the victim, unclear as to how someone
attention they will get bored of you and then starts that he or she fell so deeply in love with could throw
the abuse, verbal and physical. They will subject the it all away. Simple answer to that would be that you
victim to their rage, .intermittently lacking were far better than the narcissist and were an
emotional or physical intimacy, withdrawing empathetic person and the narcissist just sourced
a ection. The victim is left confused at the sudden you as their supply for the amazing qualities you
change in the behavior of their “prince charming”. possessed, which they lacked.

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