Page 82 - Keralite Magazine _new 1 copy

KERALITE
and that is their failure. This can cause them
“narcissistic injury”. When someone questions the
abuse, lies secrets or the silent treatments they
subject their victims or supply to, it gets twisted
back on the real victim. It is a plain simple defense
mechanism they use, without o ering any logical
explanation for their behavior (E.g.; “I have never
said that”, “that is your imaginations”; “I have no
time or energy to answer your questions”; “why do
you have so much in your life”) These are signs of
guilt on the narcissist part that their secret has been
revealed. Expecting a narcissist to be like the rest of
us can make one go insane, because they have no
remorse. They never apologize for any of the hurts
they instill on people or the negative impact of their
actions. They are never sorry. they are very skilled at
dodging and ducking personal questions. If you
press them, they will then slot you as “unsafe” and
will begin to avoid you and exclude you from their
life. We come across narcissistic personalities in
various social settings Let’s look at a few
narcissistic relationships;
Narcissist at work
Have you ever worked with a selfish, arrogant and
manipulative person? A person who wants to be in
control, center of attention and puts down other
people. You probably are or were working with a
narcissist There is also the success oriented
narcissist. He/She will be your friend and keep you
close to her as long as you are useful. Once you do
not have anything more to o er, and he/she has
taken all they wanted from you, you are history. You
are no longer desired or wanted. When the
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narcissist feels that, you have a more power image
than them and you are more popular due to the
qualities you possess, they will insult and demean
you to break your self-esteem and make you feel
worthless. They will try to take back the control
they have on you, by acting to be your well-wisher
or friend or love interest. Because control is so
important to narcissists, they can abruptly lose their
charm if destabilized or threatened. They get angry
when rejected, overreacting to small slights. Over
time, a narcissist will create an emotionally
hazardous work environment for the non-narcissist.
He (or she) will surround himself with
codependents If he is high enough up the
organization, he will appoint them. If he can't
appoint them, he will make life so di cult for those
who don't subscribe to his narcissistic abuse that
they will leave. They will eventually end up
surrounded by individuals who play the
pathological reciprocal role that his behavior
typically induces. Unfortunately, in the workplace
you can’t just write o a person o . So the best
thing to do is to go along with him or her.
Romantic relationship
with a Narcissist
The basic thing to know about all people who su er
from Narcissistic Personality Disorder is that while
they may have many gifts and talents—intelligence,
wit, charm, business sense -- forming and
maintaining intimate relationships is not one of
them. Their relationships are usually very shallow
no matter how much they profess to love you.
Relationship with a narcissist can be the most tragic
part of one’s life. It is nothing but a whirlwind of
abuse, mind twists, blame, criticism and
disapproval. Many victims die from this version of
love, or at the very least spend years, if not the rest
of their lives, emotionally, mentally, financially,
physically and spiritually crippled. Creating a love
relationship for the narcissist is for two reasons.
Firstly to secure narcissistic supply (attention), and
secondly to have an outlet to project his / her
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