Page 92 - Keralite Magazine _new 1 copy
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part of India over 30 years ago. My sister and I were
                                                                                                                                                                                                 born in America in the Metro Detroit area.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Those are some important facts to keep in mind.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Because…
                                                                                                                                                                                                 My parents grew up in a di erent culture and during
                                                                                                                                                                                                 much di erent times than my sister and I did.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 The Cause Of Many Arguments
                                                                                                                                                                                                 And Misunderstandings
                                                                                                                                                                                                 And that has been the cause of many arguments
                                                                                                                                                                                                 and misunderstandings between us American born
                                                                                                                                                                                                 kids and our immigrant parents.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 The  cultural di erences  are  appalling.  The kids
                                                                                                                                                                                                 usually have a very hard time understanding why
                                                                                                                                                                                                 their parents think and act so di erently from them.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 The parents feel the same way about their kids.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Parents of course always want what is best for their
                                                                                                                                                                                                 kids, it is a big reason why they moved to America
                                                                                                                                                                                                 to start their family here and not in India.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Immigrant parents move to America in hopes of a
                                                                                                                                                                                                 better life for themselves and their families. They
                                                                                                                                                                                                 want their kids to grow up with everything that they
                                                                                                                                                                                                 themselves never had. Parents want their kids to
                                                                                                                                                                                                 end up becoming better human beings than them
                                                                                                                                                                                                 someday.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 My own father told me yesterday…
                                                                                                                                                                                                 I want you to try to be an even better person than
                                                                                                                                                                                                 me. I want you to try to be a better father than I
                                                                                                                                                                                                 was. Making money is one thing but what I really
                                                                                                                                                                                                 want is for you to try to be a better person than I
                                                                                                                                                                                                 was. You must try your very best to do this.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Unfortunately, the parents  never expect all the
                                                                                                                                                                                                 distractions and freedoms that America has to
                                                                                                                                                                                                 o er. It is hard being a kid and growing up in this
                                                                                                                                                                                                 country. It is very easy to lose your way and lose
                                                                                                                                                                                                 your focus. It is even harder when your parents do
                                                                                                                                                                                                 not always understand what you are going through
                                                                                                                                                                                                 met anyone that cares about mine and my sister’s
                                                                                                                                                                                                 well-being as much as our parents do.
                                                                                                                                           battles. Parents need to provide emotional support
                                                                                                                                           to their kids. We need to work together as a team
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Also, parents need to show some respect to their
                                                                                                                                           so everyone can achieve whatever it is they want to
                                                                                                                                                                                                 kids. Kids these days go to schools where they do
                                                                                                                                           achieve.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 not even feel safe. If you look at the news every
                                                                                                                                                                                                 couple of months there is another school shooting.
                                                                                                                                           It will be hard but we must try.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Kids are dealing with bullying, drugs, violence, and
                                                                                                                                                                                                 all kinds of other terrible things. Often times they
                                                                                                                                           Because actions speak louder than words.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 do not know how to talk to their parents about
                                                                                                                                           Respect Each Other
                                                                                                                                                                                                 these  things because  they  feel that their  parents
                                                                                                                                                                                                 cannot relate to these problems.
                                                                                                                                           Kids  need  to  show  respect  to  their  parents.  Our
                                                                                                                                           immigrant parents will rarely complain about how
                                                                                                                                                                                                 It is hard being a kid these days. Unfortunately, I do
                                                                                                                                           hard they have had to work  to support us
                                                                                                                                                                                                 not think it is easy to be a carefree happy kid these
                                                                                                                                                                                                 days.  Times have  changed  and kids are  being
                                                                                                                                           financially. Our parents will quietly shoulder the
                                                                                                                                                                                                 forced to grow up faster and faster nowadays.
                                                                                                                                           burden  and  make  sure  their  families  are  safe  and
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Technology is only making things worse in a lot of
                                                                                                                                           protected. Our parents are warriors but unlike most
                                                                                                                                                                                                 aspects for children. Parents, please try and
                                                                                                                                           people, they just do not run around telling everyone
                                                                                                                                                                                                 understand what your kids are going through. Their
                                                                                                                                           how hard they work. They do not need to tell
                                                                                                                                                                                                 problems are probably di erent than the problems
                                                                                                                                           anyone how hard they work.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 you dealt with when you were a kid in South India
                                                                       Communicate Better
                because a lot of times they did not go through the
                                                                                                                                                                                                 but nonetheless they are major problems for your
                                                                                                                                           I am willing to bet any amount of money that your
                same things in South India when they were growing
                                                                                                                                                                                                 children.
                                                                                                                                           parents would do anything to help you. They would
                                                                       Communication is key. Your parents cannot read
                up.
                                                                                                                                           make any sacrifice necessary to make sure that you
                                                                       your mind. Your kids cannot read your mind. As a
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Show respect and empathy toward your children.
                It’s OK.
                                                                                                                                           get what you need to live a good life. Your parents
                                                                       family, you will need to be honest with each other
                                                                                                                                                                                                 I know it will be hard but we must try.
                                                                       and talk to each other. I know it sounds simple but
                                                                                                                                           are working tirelessly to make sure that they are
                The kids seem to want to be independent and at
                                                                       often times it is a hard thing for us to do.
                                                                                                                                           laying
                                                                                                                                                    down
                                                                                                                                                            a
                                                                                                                                                                solid
                first glance, they seem to be very rebellious. They
                                                                                                                                           foundation for you to turn
                want to find their own path in life. Often times it is
                                                                       One idea I have is to have regular dinners as a family
                                                                                                                                           into a great human being.
                not the path that their parents want for them.
                                                                       once or twice a week. These dinners will present a
                                                                                                                                           No one else on this Earth
                                                                       great opportunity for  the kids  to share with their
                I am no di erent. My family wanted me to go into
                                                                                                                                           will love you as much and
                                                                       parents how their day was. The parents can also
                the medical field but I chose to go into the business
                                                                                                                                           sacrifice  as much for  you
                                                                       talk about what happened during their workday. I
                field and now I am a writer too. I chose my own path
                                                                                                                                           as your parents will.
                                                                       know it will be an adjustment for a lot of us to do
                to happiness in life.
                                                                       such a thing but we need to try. If we keep doing
                                                                                                                                           Trust me when I say that.
                                                                       the same things over and over again then we will
                                                              more
                Constant
                            misunderstandings
                                                         to
                                                  lead
                                                                                                                                           I have met thousands of
                                                                       keep getting the same results.
                arguments…
                                                                                                                                           people in my life. I have
                                                                       There will keep being miscommunication and
                But that’s the thing. It’s all just a misunderstanding.
                                                                                                                                           been all over this country
                                                                       misunderstandings. We absolutely need to make
                                                                                                                                           and to di erent parts of
                I have learned over the years that the best way to
                                                                       more of an e ort to communicate with each other.
                                                                                                                                           the world. I still have not
                fix a misunderstanding is to communicate better.
                                                                       We need to talk about our struggles and our fears.
                                                                                                                                           met a single man or
                                                                       There needs to be a level of comfort between the
                It will be hard but we must try.
                                                                                                                                           woman that has as good of
                                                                       kids and the parents. Kids should feel comfortable
                                                                                                                                           a work ethic as my mom
                Because actions speak louder than words.
                                                                       with talking to their parents about problems they
                                                                                                                                           and dad. I have also never
                                                                                                               KERALITE                    are facing so that they do not feel alone in their    My parents moved to America from the southern
                                                                                                               2018
                Because actions speak louder than words.               When I was hurt by di erent people throughout my
                                                                       life I always remembered my mother’s love. Her
                Work As A Team
                                                                       kindness and ability to forgive others made me
                A family should be a well-oiled machine. A family      want to let go of my own pain and forgive others.
                should  work  very  well  together. Each member  of    The love she always showed me made me capable
                the family has di erent strengths and weaknesses.      of loving others. My sister is very di erent from me
                                                                       and yet she inspires me daily to work hard and go
                But…                                                   after what I want in life. She is a phenomenal person
                                                                       who is kind and intelligent and I know she will
                When everyone is on the same page and working          achieve great things in life.
                together, beautiful things can happen.
                                                                       All in all, I wish you and your family the very best in
                No family is perfect and we all have our own issues    your journey.
                but if we want to live successful lives we must work
                together.                                              As we go through life let us work together to make
                                                                       this life a beautiful one.
                Often times it is easy for the kids to want to go their
                own way and for the parents to go their own way        Because we only get one chance and sadly life
                too. In America, it is easy to be surrounded by        moves very quickly.
                people all the time and yet feel like you do not have
                a single person in the whole world that cares about    Enjoy your life and take care of one another.
                you.
                                                                       I know it will be hard but we must try.
                Where friendships fail and relationships can die…
                                                                       Because actions speak louder than words.
                The family must always stay strong and persevere.      Your Turn
                Often times in life the strength of my parents and
                the love of my sister have carried me through my       How well does your family do together as a team?
                most di cult times. Whenever I felt I wanted to quit
                or give up on a goal or dream I had I would always
                remember how hard my dad worked every single
                day so that our family could have a better life. The
                memories of him working tirelessly always inspired
                me.
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