Page 160 - How To Sell Yourself

Selling Yourself in Meetings 159
We give reports, briefings, instructions, and introductions.
We serve on or we chair committees and task forces.
We participate in meetings, seminars, and workshops.
In every one of these scenarios, we’re expected to be active participants—to speak up.
Why me?
Of all the speaking situations, the ones with the most riding on them are the professional ones. So colleagues, peers, bosses, and fellow professionals become the enemy. We’re so petrified by the fear of failure that we close up, tighten up, and do all the wrong things.
We tend to let stress overcome us rather than overcoming stress.
Don’t let self-doubts destroy your effectiveness
Instead of attacking the problems, we often succumb to them. We think we’re out of our league when we are expected to con- duct a dynamic meeting. Our hyperactive imaginations scream our inadequacies. “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll really louse up and they’ll laugh at me.” “The boss won’t think I’m authoritative enough.” We produce an endless list of reasons why we may fail, including, “I’ll be so nervous I’ll forget to zip my fly.”
Notice that the focus is turned inward, on ourselves. We see ourselves through the magnifying glass of fear and confusion. Ev- ery misplaced hair makes us think, “I look like a rap star.” Our deep-seated anxieties set off all kinds of alarms. Our confidence, if we ever had any, disappears. We envision being publicly ex- posed as dumb, phony, wrong, inadequate, incompetent, and worse. We’re stark naked in a meeting room filled with fully clothed people.
Although this scenario may seem exaggerated for some people, it’s no less true for others. We look upon ourselves and see the worst.
We forget that when we’re the audience, we don’t look at other front-of-the-room speakers in the same searching, scorching light. There’s the key to overcoming our fear—that and breathing to relax and regain control of ourselves.