Page 41 - How To Sell Yourself

40 How to Sell Yourself
to smile too much if the message is a pleasant, happy one. A fa- mous former National Football League quarterback has a jaw for- mation that makes him look like he’s grinning when he’s not. He has a huge mouth, enormous teeth, and lips that have never met. He’d throw a pass, and it would be intercepted and returned for a touchdown by the other team. He’d pull off his helmet and leave the field with what looked like a huge smile. Believe me, he wasn’t smiling, but the look once caused John Madden to comment, “What’s he so happy about?” Of course, I’m talking about John Elway.
There is such a thing as a nervous smile. It’s an unfortunate face to show. I’m thinking of the person who’s being interviewed on television at a moment of terrible stress. Quite often you’ll see the grieving widow talking about the accident that took her husband’s life telling the interviewer what a terrible experience it was and the near-grimace appears like a grin. We wonder if he had a fabulous insurance policy. Or the people you’ve seen talk- ing to a reporter while cleaning up after a devastating flood. The face is really in a resigned “acceptance” mode, but again, it ap- pears like a grin and we’re left wondering.
Non-smiling faces
There are three non-smiling faces we’re capable of showing to others. I call them the “closed face,” the “neutral face,” and the “open face.” Each is produced by the use of the involuntary muscles of the face. By that I mean we use them all the time with- out realizing what we’re doing.
The closed face. This is the name I give to the face we pro- duce when we frown. We draw the brows tightly together (it’s called the “knit” brow). We narrow the eye slits. (And remember: The eyes are the window to the soul.) And we produce a vertical line or lines between the eyebrows.
We do it all the time when we’re deep in thought. (“That’s a tough one. Let me think about it for a minute.”) This is the face we use all the time when we’re worried. (“Doctor, tell me the truth. Is it cancer? Am I going to die?”) And we do it when we’re angry. (“You promised me a raise. You lied!”) It’s a terrible face to show an audience. It almost always comes across as stressed out, furious, or sneaky, and an audience simply doesn’t like what
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