Page 6 - Reedley Exponent 2-1-18 E-edition

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The Reedley Exponent A26 Thursday, February 1, 2018
ealth &Fitne
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This January marks the sixth year since my mother passed away.
I find there are still times when I want to call her with a question of which I know she
will have the answer. Working at Sierra View Homes Retirement Community we find that the residents work their way into our hearts and when they pass away we find ourselves grieving. Recently, we lost one
By Ro Linscheid
move into a new normal. The loss of something
or someone who is important to you causes intense feelings we call grief. Grief is a natural response to loss. The loss of a good friend, losing your job, the death of a beloved pet, a miscarriage, or a serious illness can all be sources of grief.
Grieving is a personal experience. Nobody feels exactly as you do. How you grieve depends on your personality, your life experience coping style, your faith and
the nature of your loss. There is no timetable to get through the grieving process. It cannot be forced or hurried. It
is important that you acknowledge the feeling you are going through. To pretend that the loss is not affecting you can make for difficult times in the future. Facing the loss and actively dealing with it is difficult however, it will help you accept the situation.
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross established the five stages of grief. To this
day, these five stages are how psychiatrists and counselors help people work through grief.
She never intended for theses stages to be a rigid framework that applies to everyone, Kubler-Ross states, “the five stages are responses to loss that many people have, but there is no typical response to loss. There is no typical loss and our grieving is as individual as our lives.”
Elisabeth Kubler- Ross starts the five stages with “Denial.”
In the initial shock and disbelief that the loss has truly happened, it is natural to want to deny it happened. If someone you loved has died you may expect him or her to come walking through the door or you keep looking for them in their special chair.
The second stage
is “Sadness.” Most everyone feels a profound sadness. This could show up as feeling empty, deep despair
or great loneliness. Sadness could result in feeling weak unstable and tearful. Many
I Still Miss My Mother
people respond to loss by crying. Crying does not mean you are weak. It is simply a method of releasing deeply felt emotions.
Stage three is “Guilt.” Were there signs that you could have seen or things you could have done to possibly delay the current outcome? People often feel guilty about what they said or did not say as the end drew near.
Stage four is
“Anger.” You could be overwhelmed with the feeling of how unjust
the situation is. Anger and resentment can be directed to yourself, God, the doctors, your family or the person who died and left you behind. We have seen this anger in our Nursing Care Center where a family member takes it out on staff members that their loved one continues to decline after so many years suffering from
a progressive chronic disease.
Stage five is
“Fear.” There can be tremendous anxiety about how to move forward. Maybe you need to learn how to pay the bills now or there may be a severe change in income so you have to rethink living arrangements. When the death of a loved one causes a big change
in lifestyle, it can be terrifying.
Grief can take on physical symptoms. Symptoms such as weight loss, weight gain, insomnia, aches and pain can be the result
of dealing with grief.
It is important you acknowledge your grief and seek help if you struggle with whatever is affecting you. Look for support groups to be able to talk with people who are having similar experiences. Write in
a journal about your
Mother... Continued on Next h&F Page
of Sierra View Home’s founding members, and I am reminded once again that grief is something each of us has to deal
Now What?
with in his or her own unique way.
Each of us will have the experience of losing something or someone you love. Nobody is exempt from this experience. There are all sorts of difficult emotions when we enter the grieving process. It can feel like your friends well-meaning efforts to get you to move on are only increasing your pain. In my research I have encountered writer after writer who say, “There is no right or wrong way to grieve,” but it is important to find a way to cope with the pain so in time you can
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