Page 55 - KRH Regimental Journal 2022

as the Mess’ main effort of a ‘Summer of Love’ clashed violently with Field Army priorities (yawn). Those in the KRH Battlegroup headed to the continent, and while the 10th Don’t, they did find themselves fighting on home soil under the Mercians’ banner. Dinner nights, cocktail parties, and Mess games could not be stifled however, and a memorable evening was had as the Mess hosted an open-air cinema in the garden screening Top Gun. Lt Kendall, as he sped past on a motorbike, blooded the hallowed Tilney sword for the first time in decades, expertly missing the can of lager Capt Turner was holding in his hand as the intended target, favouring instead to skewer the Mess Sec’s finger – Hussar! Garlic Baz made his annual appearance late into the night of the Battlegroup Dinner drunk on Mega Speaker’s heady bass and keen to reassure our NATO allies of our fearlessness – that was the mission, right? One of the more unorthodox transport requests to come across Capt Walton’s desk as MTO occurred that night when three scantily clad subalterns appeared at his door at six in the morning demanding whitefleet to McDonalds. To his great credit, he obliged. For Capt Walton had already cemented his place in subby folklore after he quite literally drank and smoked himself to the brink of death one evening during a particularly indulgent Mexican night. A reformed and health-conscious man he is, until there’s a reason (or a schnitzel) not to be.
In the record-breaking July heat minds turned to the creamy white elephant in the room – the summer ball. After three fallow years, Bacchus’ horn was to be blown again. War councils were summoned to discuss the theme. Worth and Nichol tried to bang the solstice drum, yet their acid flavoured Wicker Man dreams were not to pass muster. Instead, ‘A Night at the Movies’ trumped all suggestions, how creative. Before work could begin there were questions that needed to be answered: had corporate knowledge been lost? Could the subalterns of today live up to their ances- tors’ deeds? In typical Officers’ Mess fashion two whole weeks
were allocated to the Herculean task. In the highest tradition, the building did not commence until the tenth day. Capt Barrell, the mad architect, decreed that the back of the Mess was to be trans- formed into the Hollywood studios. A Sqn Officers executed Capt Nichol’s personal interpretation of Francis Ford Coppola’s mas- terpiece, ‘Apocalash Now.’
With the artistic touch of Lt Palmer Price, aka ‘Madame PP’, paint, canvas, and Bulldog were brought together to create the ultimate ‘Nam-themed fetish experience. A Sqn 2IC even donated his personal ‘battle box’ of dirty tricks. There was a minor diplo- matic incident involving the RTR lawn and some lacklustre track discipline, but nothing that a few tactful words from the PMC couldn’t solve. Marquees, stretch tents, ‘Crazy Nick’s’ saloon bar and Capt Skrine’s Moon-Lander-nightmare soon filled the Mess lawn. And whilst it would have taken a rather discerning eye to have guessed the theme straight off the bat, Recce Troop Leader’s vision eventually materialised – despite B Sqn’s best efforts to leave it to the last safe moment. The Ball itself has been described as a cross between ‘One Night in Paris’ and the original ‘Planet of the Apes.’ For security reasons, full details cannot be released in this publication. Only faint memories of a champagne-soaked Toppers, naked, being shuttled around in a wheelchair as the sun rose, remain.
Summer turned to autumn and the Mess bid its farewells to each other as some travelled to the East and others continued to man the fort. It is for other articles to cover the events of this period. Some good times were had, and stories will be told, but it was all a bit hollow. The closing months of 2022 certainly made clear how good a time had been enjoyed in the months prior. After a vintage year, the Mess is sorely looking forward to being reunited in 2023 and intends to carry on where we left off.
WADB
The Regimental Journal of The King’s Royal Hussars 53
On the eve of deployment; CABRIT 11 Battle Group Dinner Night