Page 248 - She's One Crazy Lady!

People around me told me to look after myself. I knew what they meant but... I couldn’t and wouldn’t walk away. People also said that in my passion for wanting people to talk about cancer, I was to remember Sue would not be the first.
I left Sue that day to make my way to another emotionally-charged occasion – Julie picking me up to have a meal with the staff from Highfields – the ‘survivors’ who were there when I was. It was a happy evening but I’m not sure they really understood my situation – life for them had moved on and I felt they were all unsure themselves as to what the future held.
Christmas – family and friends time and time to put school issues on ice for a few days – a hectic few days, going here and there, seeing everyone and eating far too much. It was Mum’s first Christmas without Dad so we all made sure she was well-looked after and enjoyed a lovely Christmas event with her at Stanwick, where Dad was – Dad loudly singing “It’s Now or Never”, along with a look-alike ‘Elvis’ which was really funny as Bing Crosby was more his style. It was lovely to have some ‘down time’ with Marilyn too, and her family, as Marilyn continued to be so supportive of me and always ‘there’ to listen to my mood swings and indecisive thoughts. She, like many, was very concerned about me having the breast reconstruction – the date of which was drawing nearer and nearer. In another card she gave me she wrote: “A friend is someone to whom you can say any jackass thing that enters your mind”. That was us! I felt blessed to have such good friends and family around me.
Sue, who I hadn’t seen for a few days, was deteriorating and had been into hospital and too unwell for us to go and get her hair cut. She was admitted to Cynthia Spencer Hospital where I went to see her. She was on high doses of morphine and quite chatty, and again we talked and talked – it’s what she wanted to do, always maintaining her sense of humour and her flow of expletives about treatment, tests and injections still there. I was full of admiration for her. What was going on inside her head, I didn’t know. You will have read in my dedication to her, I left her that day when her family arrived; the moment she hugged me and made me promise Crazy Hats would go on – our last words. Sue died a few days later at home surrounded by her family and her beloved dog, Holly. I had spent time with her the night before – she was very peaceful. Her death hit me so hard but, I kept my promise to her. Yes, there were more heartbreaking and very sad outcomes for patients we had got to know for years to come but there were many, many positives too. It was an honour to be able to read a tribute at Sue’s funeral where she had asked for donations to go to Crazy Hats – our first experience of someone doing this. To this day, I still miss Sue.
Her passing was hard for many of the ladies who were attending the support group at the hospital and Lesley, who wasn’t well herself, wrote the words to a song (‘Lesley’s Song’) that was to become widely known by us all, with music to the words later being arranged by my friend Julie.
Lesley’s Song
Life, life, Celebrate life. Life, life, Celebrate life.
This song is for you,
We will help you win through. Mother, daughter, or wife, Let’s celebrate life.
Mother, daughter, or wife, Let’s celebrate life.
(Chorus)
On Crazy Hats Day,
Chase those blues away. Smiles instead of tears, Courage to light your fears. Smiles instead of tears, Courage to light your fears. (Chorus)
United we are strong,
So won’t you come along? Husband, father, or brother, We will help each other. Husband, father, or brother, We will help each other. (Chorus)
So let us celebrate life, Mother, daughter, or wife. We will all win through, We can do it for you.
We will all win through, We will do it for you. (Chorus)
LIFE!
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