Page 58 - The Royal Lancers Chapka 2018

56 REGIMENTAL JOURNAL OF THE ROYAL LANCERS (QUEEN ELIZABETHS’ OWN)
Dugie-Fest Fishing trip Catching rays
UK’s relationship with Cyprus. We also hosted Mr Nathaniel ‘Chip’ Dean, the Dep US Ambassador to Cyprus and his De- fense Attaché, Colonel Andrew Mack who gave us a fascinating insight into the US’ Foreign policy aims. We were also fortunate to host the head of the EU delegation to Cyprus, Mr Andropolus Hadenoughofeupolus. Visits from the UN Focal point for Gen- der, Lauren McAllister, the United Nations Forces In Cyprus Spokesperson, Aleem Siddique and the Russian Chief of Staff to the special Representative of the Secretary-General (SRSG) were equally challenging and fantastically interesting.
At the end of October, we commemorated Balaklava with a din- ner night with the Colonel of the Regiment in attendance. An in- formative re-telling of the events of the day and an impassioned reading of Alfred Tennyson’s legendary poem “The Charge of the Light Brigade” by Lieutenant Titcomb book-ended a par- ticularly violent supper, as subalterns vied to remove the Com- manding Officer’s, Squadron Leaders’ and any other unguarded spurs. The night’s entertainment concluded with a re-enactment of the charge of the Light Brigade with the Late Entry Offic- ers playing the part of the Russian guns and subalterns playing themselves – the heroic cavalrymen. It ended badly.
A common theme throughout the year was the importance of food. New and more experienced members of the mess attempted (and largely failed) various food challenges (liver, salad, pineapples and chocolate mousse to name just a few). Two challenges stand out: the first is Second Lieutenant Free’s claim that he could run a Per- sonal Fitness Assessment and then eat a full jar of peanut butter in 10 mins 30 secs – a disgusting feat that he managed with seconds to spare. All hail the conquering hero. The second is Lieutenant Woodward’s “Catterick Big 5” challenge; eating meals from Mc- Donald’s, Subway, the local fish and chip shop, KFC and Domi- nos in one day. He unfortunately fell just two pizza slices from the finish line. A valiant effort, nonetheless, and one that shall live long in the memory of all those who saw the food coming back up.
Whilst we certainly ate a lot, the Officers’ Mess also led the Regi- ment in all things sporting. Various officers ran, cycled and swam their way all around Cyprus. An RL-organised run through the length of the Sector 2 Buffer Zone (33km) saw four officers take part. In October, Captains Henson and Anani-Isaac and Second Leiutenant Free took part in a multi-day ultra-marathon in the Wadi Rum desert in Jordan. (Ed: If you wish to read more about this, please ring Captain Anani-Isaac who will be happy to dis-
cuss, at length). Exercise Final Fling also took place in October, bringing many of the newer members of the mess together with some older ones. Taking place in Golspie this year, it was a mur- derous success. The bag included two roe buck, 14 red stag (the largest number in the history of Exercise Final Fling) and 36 fish, all apparently lured towards the lines by a trail of vomit from the seasick Lieutenant Woodward. Lieutenant Gray, the Foods Member, displayed his unique unsuitability for the role by cook- ing his famous “honeycomb” pudding, described variously as “jaw breaking” and “a disgusting sugary rock” or simply “foul”.
Christmas Week this year saw the traditional Officers vs Seniors rugby match take a step up in professionalism, taking place at Richmond Rugby club’s ground rather than the usual swamp that is the Wavell road pitches in December. Having invested in a new rugby kit with the assumption that all the gear equals some idea, the Officers’ Mess used their warm up to mess around with the balls and re-live some 2nd (and in some cases 3rd and 4th) XV glory days. As usual, the Seniors came with only one intent – break the officers. In that, they succeeded – Lieutenant Titcomb found out to his nose’s detriment that diving into a tackle face first is only going to result in one loser and Lieu- tenant Batterbury played the whole game despite fracturing his wrist in the first half. Bodies were put literally on the line, with try saving tackles from Captains Humphreys and Cartwright and only an injury time try from Lieutenant Batterbury, ex- pertly set up by a selfless pass by Second Lieutenant Colquhoun (albeit four phases earlier) separated the two teams. The game ended 5-0 to the officers and the bragging rights remain with us for another year. The same evening, we treated the Seniors to a decidedly average version of Mariah Carey’s “Last Christmas” before being allowed to enter their mess for Officers to Seniors.
A very busy (sorry, not sorry) year was brought to a fitting close by the Winter Ball in December. The medieval theme was embraced by all and Cambrai Lines swiftly became Cambrai Castle, home to King Henry and his loyal subjects. A special mention must be given to Captains Yapp and White, who took leave from their ac- tual jobs to come up to Catterick and ensure the epic castle exteri- or, complete with battlements, towers, moat, gallows and Ye Olde Shoppe were up to scratch. Despite the predictably inhospitable northern weather the party was a wild success, as knights, monks and serfs ate and drank together until the early hours.
JAI
The Mess Deployed OM vs Seniors rugby Cambrai Castle