Page 20 - RADC 2023

RADC PEOPLE
Serving Dad in the Royal Army Dental Corps
Sgt Gordon Shaw
Last year the Corps Bulletin focused on Serving Mums so this year I would like to contribute to providing my views on me as a serving Dad.
Being a serving soldier and a dad is a unique and challenging role that requires balancing the demands of military service with the responsibilities of parenthood. I had already served 6 years in the Army before Tilly, my one and only child was born, well for the time being anyway.
The possibility of deployment had the potential to be emotionally challenging for both me and my wife Gemma however so far, we have not had to experience anything too long, apart for the occasional course or exercise.
Finding the balance between my military commitments and spending quality time with my family has on occasions been difficult but having a supportive family network has been key to allowing me to contribute to my military commitments.
Prioritising family activities, attending important events, and creating special moments can help strengthen the bond
between a soldier and their children, so
the flexibility allowed to me by my CoC
has allowed me to attend first days, school awards ceremonies, hospital appointments, the list goes on.
Over the last 8 years Tilly has had to endure several school moves, including
a move to Germany at the age of 3. This has its drawbacks as she has had to say goodbye to friends and familiarities, to
then navigate new settings and build new relationships. Cross border moves also resulted in being integrated into different education systems which could potentially have had an impact on her academic ability. Thankfully Tilly has taken these hurdles
and thrived with whatever is put in her way, making her a very strong, independent, and dynamic young lady.
Being a serving soldier and a dad offers an opportunity for me to be a positive role model for my daughter. Demonstrating values such as discipline, resilience, and dedication has instilled important life lessons and helped Tilly develop a strong sense of pride and respect for me and my wife as she
is aware on how much pressure is also put on her Mum, who also must start afresh with a new posting.
While being a serving soldier and
a dad can be demanding, it is also a rewarding experience. It requires effective communication, adaptability, and a commitment to maintaining a strong connection with your children despite the challenges posed by military service.
Shared parental leave – a father’s perspective Maj Colin McGrath
My third child Ozias Magnus McKelly was born on the 4th May 2023 in a beautiful planned freebirth at home. After such
as perfect transition into this world I am very grateful of the scheme that allowed me to continue to support a holistic and “mother and baby” led first few months with me fully involved and present for my family. Although COVID had allowed me to support my wife well during the post- partum/4th trimester period with our second child Elton in 2020, I was worried that I might not be able to offer the same level of support to the family for our third child, but the Shared Parent Leave (ShPL) allowed me to do just that.
Recalling the shared parental leave scheme being mentioned by some respected colleagues (Lt. Colonel Richard Price) I had a delve into the JSP (JSP 760, Ch 27), where I would recommend anyone
interested in finding out more look to in the first instance. It offers great details on the sort of timelines you are required to inform your chain of command as well as all the details.
The offer allows you take time off work
up to a total of 6 months and receive your full pay, (paid as full minus state paternity and then state maternity pay added back on) with your partner not taking her state maternity pay during the same period. Those who know me will know I’m pretty keen on my clinical dentistry and so I took my ShPL as a 2 month block, 1 month back at work and then another 1 month block, allowing me to spend the first 10 weeks of Ozias’s life with my family but keep my “eye in” on the dentistry front.
I was able to be there to support Mum and baby and be there for our 2 older children, Orla and Elton. The added time
spent with Ozi has given us a bond between father and son that I didn’t think possible
for a full time working father with a huge commute! I do believe that being present
in those first few months of his life, rather than only 2 weeks of paternity leave, has changed my relationship with him for the better but also for us as a family unit. His face lights up at my return from work now with a glow that makes me extremely glad I had those precious weeks with him at
the very beginning. It reminds me of one of my favourite quotes “you’ll only have little children once, for about 4 years, it’s a peak experience in life and then it’s gone forever, be present, don’t miss it!”
18 RADC BULLETIN 2023