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Senior Voice of Citrus County - NOVEMBER 2020 • 29
POLICE BLOTTER
BLOTTER
POLICE

A collection of dumb moves by boneheads in Florida
A collection of dumb moves by boneheads in Florida

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Local Police Blotter
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October, 2020
Residential Burglary with
Battery – District 2/Zone
7 – A woman reported her
ex-boyfriend knocked on her
bedroom window. The woman
said the man climbed through
her window. She indicated
he sat in a chair and talked to
her for two hours. During that
time, the woman said he tried
to rub and kiss her. She indi-
cated he refused to leave. The
woman called to her family
members who called law en-
forcement – Note: This is why
the man is an ex. Wonder how
Woman calls 911 on alligator,
many ex’s he has. W o m a n c a l l s 9 1 1 o n a l l i g a t o r ,
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October 2020 It turned out to be a pool floatie
Loitering and Prowling – When is an alligator not an in from the Mahogany Run conquered the beast. He even
District 1/Zone 9 – A local alligator? apartment complex in Winter knocked the wind out of it,”
business owner contacted the Haven at around 2 p.m. on the agency said in the post.
Sheriff’s Office in reference When it’s a pool floatie. Aug. 22. “Literally.”
to two individuals who were That’s what one Florida
observed on camera entering a deputy recently found out, A resident told dispatchers A picture shows the deputy
fire escape, which had access according to the Polk County that her husband went to posing with the realistic
to the business’s roof. Two in- their storage unit to get some looking green inflatable,
dividuals were located on the Sheriff’s Office. boxes, saw the gator, and complete with teeth and
rooftop. They indicated they The agency said Master asked her to call the cops, scales, which one astute
came to the roof to have sex. Deputy Mark Trexler according to the police report. commenter pointed out more
A gram of methamphetamine resembles a crocodile thanks
and three Xanax pills were responded to a call about an Upon further review, Trexler to the V-shaped snout.
also located on the roof. Own- alligator hanging out where realized that the subject of the
ership could not immediately it shouldn’t be: in a storage call was a lot less dangerous We’re not going to gnaw
be determined – Note: This shed. —unless you’re afraid of on this pesky issue, as the
was no Fiddler on a roof.
A sheriff’s spokeswoman said alligator-shaped pool floats. thing in the shed is not
that the emergency call came “He came…he saw…he actually alive.

Henny Youngman Jokes
Henny Y oungman Jok es

• Getting on a plane, I told the ticket drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”

lady, “Send one of my bags to New
York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to • My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Miami.” She said, “We can’t do that!” I told her, • The first five days after the weekend are always
“You did it last week!” the hardest.

• A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says • I bet on a horse at ten-to-one; it didn’t come in
“You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The until half-past five.