Page 23 - Aug 2020 Citrus

Senior Voice of Citrus County - AUGUST 2020 • 23
Richar d Le w is Humor
Richard Lewis Humor

• At home now, I have cough medicine on tap.

• This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies
in the pictures.

• I don’t blame my parents for my dysfunctions… I blame their parents.

• This weekend I pulled a muscle in my cheeks trying to smile.

• It’s stressful being a hypochondriac. In my home I have a walk-in medicine chest.

• The best way to have an affair without feeling guilty is to sleep with your therapist

RELIGION But as an act of repentance The young man got the Fun & Games

continued from page 19 he wanted the young man to point: God would forgive
take a bag of feathers and go his sin. But the damage he Answers
man from Scotland who throughout the village placing had caused the other man
spread vicious and ugly tales one feather beside every front through his ugly words was From page 20

about another man in his door. The young man thought not something he could
village. This young man this was an unusual way to take back. His words had MUMBO JUMBO
used deadly words to commit pay for his sin, but he did as a consequence he could not
character assassination. As instructed. easily retract. PURPLES Final Message:
a result of the rumors, the plum
other man’s reputation was After returning to the Every person is known violet orchid
ruined. His good name was minister, the young man for his or her words. How lilac
destroyed. said, “I did as you told me. might your life be different lavender
I placed one feather beside if you made the decision to
Then one day the young man every front door in the add value to people with BAMBOOZABLE

realized that he had confused village.” the words you speak to 6. Stretching the Truth
some important facts. His them? Every person needs 5. Back Issues 4. Strong Undertow
rumors about the other man “Great,” said the minister. to hear the words, “I love 3. Blanket
had been untrue all along. “Now I want you to take that you; I believe in you; I am 2. To Sum it Up 1. Sixth Sense
The young man was crushed same bag and go gather up all so proud of you.” Who PHRASE SCRAMBLE
over what he had done and the feathers.” needs to hear those words
went to see his minister The young man replied, from you? Could it be your unexamined is not worth living.
hoping that he could be “That’s absurd. I’ll never spouse, your child, or your The life which is
forgiven. find them all. The wind has grandchild? Words are

The minister explained that blown more than half of them powerful. Be powerfully HINK PINKS 10. Moon Tune
God would forgive his sin. away.” positive with your words. 9. Mean Bean 8. Free Bee 7. Long Song

Assistance with Utility Bill Payments Available 6. Cat Spat 5. Mass Grass 4. Straight Eight

Citrus County Housing Services continues to income homeowners and renters pay for a 3. Cash Bash 2. Cranky Yankee
assist low-income residents with their utility portion of their primary heating costs. 1. Rub Cub
bill payments. SUDOKU
LIHEAP is not designed to pay a household’s
The Low-Income Home Energy Assistance total energy costs, but to provide supplemental
Program (LIHEAP) helps low-income families assistance. Ordinarily, applications for
with home heating and cooling costs. LIHEAP LIHEAP are accepted by appointment only
is funded by the U.S. Department of Health due to the demand for assistance.
and Human Services through the Florida
Department of Economic Opportunity and For more information, call 352-527-7520
has been established to help qualifying low- between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m., Monday through
Friday.