Page 116 - down-and-out-in-paris-and-london

every woman something to sell?’ And then, as I lay reflecting
upon the things I should do if I were a woman, an idea came
into my head. I remembered the Government maternity
hospitals—you know the Government maternity hospitals?
They are places where women who are ENCEINTE are given
meals free and no questions are asked. It is done to encour-
age childbearing. Any woman can go there and demand a
meal, and she is given it immediately.
‘’MON DIEU!’ I thought, ‘if only I were a woman! I would
eat at one of those places every day. Who can tell whether a
woman is ENCEINTE or not, without an examination?’
‘I turned to Yvonne. ‘Stop that insufferable bawling.’ I
said, ‘I have thought of a way to get food.’
‘’How?’ she said.
‘’It is simple,’ I said. ‘Go to the Government maternity
hospital. Tell them you are ENCEINTE and ask for food.
They will give you a good meal and ask no questions.’
‘Yvonne was appalled. ‘MAIS, MON DIEU,’ she cried, ‘I
am not ENCEINTE!’
‘’Who cares?’ I said. ‘That is easily remedied. What do
you need except a cushion—two cushions if necessary? It is
an inspiration from heaven, MA CHERE. Don’t waste it.’
‘Well, in the end I persuaded her, and then we borrowed
a cushion and I got her ready and took her to the maternity
hospital. They received her with open arms. They gave her
cabbage soup, a ragout of beef, a puree of potatoes, bread
and cheese and beer, and all kinds of advice about her baby.
Yvonne gorged till she almost burst her skin, and managed
to slip some of the bread and cheese into her pocket for me.

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