Page 61 - down-and-out-in-paris-and-london

swered grandly (he had a manner of waving his hand and
flicking off his cigarette ash at the same time, which looked
very grand), ‘exactly a fortnight from today, in time for
lunch.’ Then, with obvious pride, he showed us over the res-
taurant.
It was a smallish place, consisting of a bar, a dining-
room, and a kitchen no bigger than the average bathroom.
The PATRON was decorating it in a trumpery ‘picturesque’
style (he called it ‘LE NORMAND’; it was a matter of sham
beams stuck on the plaster, and the like) and proposed to
call it the Auberge de Jehan Cottard, to give a medieval ef-
fect. He had a leaflet printed, full of lies about the historical
associations of the quarter, and this leaflet actually claimed,
among other things, that there had once been an inn on the
site of the restaurant which was frequented by Charlemagne.
The PATRON was very pleased with this touch. He was also
having the bar decorated with indecent pictures by an artist
from the Salon. Finally he gave us each an expensive ciga-
rette, and after some more talk he went home.
I felt strongly that we should never get any good from
this restaurant. The PATRON had looked to me like a cheat,
and, what was worse, an incompetent cheat, and I had seen
two unmistakable duns hanging about the back door. But
Boris, seeing himself a MAITRE D’HOTEL once more,
would not be discouraged.
‘We’ve brought it off—only a fortnight to hold out. What
is a fortnight? JE M’EN F——. To think that in only three
weeks I shall have my mistress! Will she be dark or fair, I
wonder? I don’t mind, so long as she is not too thin.’

0 Down and Out in Paris and London