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to him insanely obstinate.
‘Very well, I promised to let you if you really wanted it,
and I keep my promise. When do you go to Germany?’
Philip’s heart beat violently. The battle was won, and he
did not know whether he had not rather lost it.
‘At the beginning of May, sir,’ he answered.
‘Well, you must come and see us when you get back.’
He held out his hand. If he had given him one more
chance Philip would have changed his mind, but he seemed
to look upon the matter as settled. Philip walked out of the
house. His school-days were over, and he was free; but the
wild exultation to which he had looked forward at that mo-
ment was not there. He walked round the precincts slowly,
and a profound depression seized him. He wished now that
he had not been foolish. He did not want to go, but he knew
he could never bring himself to go to the headmaster and
tell him he would stay. That was a humiliation he could
never put upon himself. He wondered whether he had done
right. He was dissatisfied with himself and with all his cir-
cumstances. He asked himself dully whether whenever you
got your way you wished afterwards that you hadn’t.

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