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sional interest in it, and Hayward welcomed a subject in
which hard facts need not disconcert him; when feeling is
the gauge you can snap your angers at logic, and when your
logic is weak that is very agreeable. Hayward found it dif-
ficult to explain his beliefs to Philip without a great flow of
words; but it was clear (and this fell in with Philip’s idea of
the natural order of things), that he had been brought up in
the church by law established. Though he had now given up
all idea of becoming a Roman Catholic, he still looked upon
that communion with sympathy. He had much to say in its
praise, and he compared favourably its gorgeous ceremo-
nies with the simple services of the Church of England. He
gave Philip Newman’s Apologia to read, and Philip, finding
it very dull, nevertheless read it to the end.
‘Read it for its style, not for its matter,’ said Hayward.
He talked enthusiastically of the music at the Oratory,
and said charming things about the connection between in-
cense and the devotional spirit. Weeks listened to him with
his frigid smile.
‘You think it proves the truth of Roman Catholicism that
John Henry Newman wrote good English and that Cardi-
nal Manning has a picturesque appearance?’
Hayward hinted that he had gone through much trouble
with his soul. For a year he had swum in a sea of darkness.
He passed his fingers through his fair, waving hair and told
them that he would not for five hundred pounds endure
again those agonies of mind. Fortunately he had reached
calm waters at last.
‘But what do you believe?’ asked Philip, who was never

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