Page 864 - the-idiot

with Rogojin was an insane idea. I understand all now that
I did not understand before; and, do you know, when those
two stood opposite to one another, I could not bear Nasta-
sia Philipovna’s face! You must know, Evgenie Pavlovitch, I
have never told anyone before—not even Aglaya—that I can-
not bear Nastasia Philipovna’s face.’ (He lowered his voice
mysteriously as he said this.) You described that evening
at Nastasia Philipovna’s (six months since) very accurately
just now; but there is one thing which you did not men-
tion, and of which you took no account, because you do not
know. I mean her FACE—I looked at her face, you see. Even
in the morning when I saw her portrait, I felt that I could
not BEAR to look at it. Now, there’s Vera Lebedeff, for in-
stance, her eyes are quite different, you know. I’m AFRAID
of her face!’ he added, with real alarm.
‘You are AFRAID of it?’
‘Yes—she’s mad!’ he whispered, growing pale.
‘Do you know this for certain?’ asked Evgenie, with the
greatest curiosity.
‘Yes, for certain—quite for certain, now! I have discov-
ered it ABSOLUTELY for certain, these last few days.’
‘What are you doing, then?’ cried Evgenie, in horror.
‘You must be marrying her solely out of FEAR, then! I can’t
make head or tail of it, prince. Perhaps you don’t even love
her?’
‘Oh, no; I love her with all my soul. Why, she is a child!
She’s a child now—a real child. Oh! you know nothing
about it at all, I see.’
‘And are you assured, at the same time, that you love