Page 239 - women-in-love
P. 239

and delight, such as children alone know, when all seems a
         perfect and blissful adventure.
            When  they  had  finished  tea,  the  two  girls  sat  on,  si-
         lent and serene. Then Ursula, who had a beautiful strong
         voice, began to sing to herself, softly: ‘Annchen von Tharau.’
         Gudrun listened, as she sat beneath the trees, and the yearn-
         ing  came  into  her  heart.  Ursula  seemed  so  peaceful  and
         sufficient unto herself, sitting there unconsciously croon-
         ing her song, strong and unquestioned at the centre of her
         own universe. And Gudrun felt herself outside. Always this
         desolating, agonised feeling, that she was outside of life, an
         onlooker, whilst Ursula was a partaker, caused Gudrun to
         suffer from a sense of her own negation, and made her, that
         she must always demand the other to be aware of her, to be
         in connection with her.
            ‘Do you mind if I do Dalcroze to that tune, Hurtler?’ she
         asked in a curious muted tone, scarce moving her lips.
            ‘What did you say?’ asked Ursula, looking up in peace-
         ful surprise.
            ‘Will you sing while I do Dalcroze?’ said Gudrun, suffer-
         ing at having to repeat herself.
            Ursula thought a moment, gathering her straying wits
         together.
            ‘While you do—?’ she asked vaguely.
            ‘Dalcroze movements,’ said Gudrun, suffering tortures
         of self-consciousness, even because of her sister.
            ‘Oh Dalcroze! I couldn’t catch the name. DO—I should
         love to see you,’ cried Ursula, with childish surprised bright-
         ness. ‘What shall I sing?’

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