Page 697 - women-in-love
P. 697

the Marienhutte, perhaps to the village below.
            To Gudrun this day was full of a promise like spring. She
         felt an approaching release, a new fountain of life rising up
         in her. It gave her pleasure to dawdle through her packing,
         it gave her pleasure to dip into books, to try on her differ-
         ent garments, to look at herself in the glass. She felt a new
         lease of life was come upon her, and she was happy like a
         child, very attractive and beautiful to everybody, with her
         soft, luxuriant figure, and her happiness. Yet underneath
         was death itself.
            In the afternoon she had to go out with Loerke. Her to-
         morrow was perfectly vague before her. This was what gave
         her pleasure. She might be going to England with Gerald,
         she might be going to Dresden with Loerke, she might be
         going to Munich, to a girl-friend she had there. Anything
         might  come  to  pass  on  the  morrow.  And  today  was  the
         white, snowy iridescent threshold of all possibility. All pos-
         sibility—that was the charm to her, the lovely, iridescent,
         indefinite  charm,—pure  illusion  All  possibility—because
         death  was  inevitable,  and  NOTHING  was  possible  but
         death.
            She did not want things to materialise, to take any definite
         shape. She wanted, suddenly, at one moment of the journey
         tomorrow, to be wafted into an utterly new course, by some
         utterly unforeseen event, or motion. So that, although she
         wanted to go out with Loerke for the last time into the snow,
         she did not want to be serious or businesslike.
            And Loerke was not a serious figure. In his brown vel-
         vet cap, that made his head as round as a chestnut, with the

                                                       697
   692   693   694   695   696   697   698   699   700   701   702