Page 182 - tender-is-the-night

my health and wasting my time pretending that what is the
matter with my
(2)
head is curable.
Here I am in what appears to be a semi-insane-asylum,
all because nobody saw fit to tell me the truth about any-
thing. If I had only known what was going on like I know
now I could have stood it I guess for I am pretty strong, but
those who should have, did not see fit to enlighten me.
(3)
And now, when I know and have paid such a price for
knowing, they sit there with their dogs lives and say I
should believe what I did believe. Especially one does but
I know now.
I am lonesome all the time far away from friends and
family across the Atlantic I roam all over the place in a half
daze. If you could get me a position as interpreter (I know
French and German like a native, fair
(4)
Italian and a little Spanish) or in the Red Cross Ambu-
lance or as a trained nurse, though I would have to train you
would prove a great blessing.
And again:
Since you will not accept my explanation of what is the
matter you could at least explain to me what you think, be-
cause you have a kind cat’s face, and not that funny look
that seems to be so fashionable here. Dr. Gregory gave me
a snapshot of you, not as handsome as you are in your uni-
form, but younger looking.

182 Tender is the Night