Page 103 - a-portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man
P. 103

the  band  playing  THE  LILY  OF  KILLARNEY  and  knew
         that in a few moments the curtain would go up. He felt no
         stage fright but the thought of the part he had to play hu-
         miliated him. A remembrance of some of his lines made a
         sudden flush rise to his painted cheeks. He saw her serious
         alluring eyes watching him from among the audience and
         their image at once swept away his scruples, leaving his will
         compact. Another nature seemed to have been lent him: the
         infection of the excitement and youth about him entered
         into and transformed his moody mistrustfulness. For one
         rare moment he seemed to be clothed in the real apparel
         of boyhood: and, as he stood in the wings among the other
         players, he shared the common mirth amid which the drop
         scene was hauled upwards by two able-bodied priests with
         violent jerks and all awry.
            A few moments after he found himself on the stage amid
         the garish gas and the dim scenery, acting before the innu-
         merable faces of the void. It surprised him to see that the
         play which he had known at rehearsals for a disjointed life-
         less thing had suddenly assumed a life of its own. It seemed
         now to play itself, he and his fellow actors aiding it with
         their parts. When the curtain fell on the last scene he heard
         the void filled with applause and, through a rift in a side
         scene, saw the simple body before which he had acted magi-
         cally deformed, the void of faces breaking at all points and
         falling asunder into busy groups.
            He left the stage quickly and rid himself of his mummery
         and passed out through the chapel into the college garden.
         Now that the play was over his nerves cried for some fur-

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