Page 113 - a-portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man
P. 113

Cork is a city. Our room is in the Victoria Hotel. Victoria
         and Stephen and Simon. Simon and Stephen and Victoria.
         Names.
            The memory of his childhood suddenly grew dim. He
         tried to call forth some of its vivid moments but could not.
         He recalled only names. Dante, Parnell, Clane, Clongowes.
         A little boy had been taught geography by an old woman
         who kept two brushes in her wardrobe. Then he had been
         sent  away  from  home  to  a  college,  he  had  made  his  first
         communion and eaten slim jim out of his cricket cap and
         watched the firelight leaping and dancing on the wall of a
         little bedroom in the infirmary and dreamed of being dead,
         of mass being said for him by the rector in a black and gold
         cope, of being buried then in the little graveyard of the com-
         munity off the main avenue of limes. But he had not died
         then. Parnell had died. There had been no mass for the dead
         in the chapel and no procession. He had not died but he
         had faded out like a film in the sun. He had been lost or
         had wandered out of existence for he no longer existed. How
         strange to think of him passing out of existence in such a
         way, not by death but by fading out in the sun or by being
         lost and forgotten somewhere in the universe! It was strange
         to see his small body appear again for a moment: a little boy
         in a grey belted suit. His hands were in his side-pockets and
         his trousers were tucked in at the knees by elastic bands.
            On the evening of the day on which the property was
         sold Stephen followed his father meekly about the city from
         bar to bar. To the sellers in the market, to the barmen and
         barmaids, to the beggars who importuned him for a lob Mr

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