Page 311 - a-portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man

precursor. Item: he eats chiefly belly bacon and dried figs.
Read locusts and wild honey. Also, when thinking of him,
saw always a stern severed head or death mask as if out-
lined on a grey curtain or veronica. Decollation they call
it in the gold. Puzzled for the moment by saint John at the
Latin gate. What do I see? A decollated percursor trying to
pick the lock.
MARCH 21, NIGHT. Free. Soul free and fancy free. Let
the dead bury the dead. Ay. And let the dead marry the
dead.
MARCH 22. In company with Lynch followed a sizeable
hospital nurse. Lynch’s idea. Dislike it. Two lean hungry
greyhounds walking after a heifer.
MARCH 23. Have not seen her since that night. Un-
well? Sits at the fire perhaps with mamma’s shawl on her
shoulders. But not peevish. A nice bowl of gruel? Won’t you
now?
MARCH 24. Began with a discussion with my mother.
Subject: B.V.M. Handicapped by my sex and youth. To es-
cape held up relations between Jesus and Papa against those
between Mary and her son. Said religion was not a lying-in
hospital. Mother indulgent. Said I have a queer mind and
have read too much. Not true. Have read little and under-
stood less. Then she said I would come back to faith because
I had a restless mind. This means to leave church by back
door of sin and re-enter through the skylight of repentance.
Cannot repent. Told her so and asked for sixpence. Got
threepence.
Then went to college. Other wrangle with little round

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