Page 525 - war-and-peace

ed and adored monarch.
‘But it can’t be he, alone in the midst of this empty field!’
thought Rostov. At that moment Alexander turned his head
and Rostov saw the beloved features that were so deeply en-
graved on his memory. The Emperor was pale, his cheeks
sunken and his eyes hollow, but the charm, the mildness of
his features, was all the greater. Rostov was happy in the as-
surance that the rumors about the Emperor being wounded
were false. He was happy to be seeing him. He knew that
he might and even ought to go straight to him and give the
message Dolgorukov had ordered him to deliver.
But as a youth in love trembles, is unnerved, and dares
not utter the thoughts he has dreamed of for nights, but
looks around for help or a chance of delay and flight when
the longed-for moment comes and he is alone with her, so
Rostov, now that he had attained what he had longed for
more than anything else in the world, did not know how to
approach the Emperor, and a thousand reasons occurred to
him why it would be inconvenient, unseemly, and impos-
sible to do so.
‘What! It is as if I were glad of a chance to take advantage
of his being alone and despondent! A strange face may seem
unpleasant or painful to him at this moment of sorrow; be-
sides, what can I say to him now, when my heart fails me
and my mouth feels dry at the mere sight of him?’ Not one
of the innumerable speeches addressed to the Emperor that
he had composed in his imagination could he now recall.
Those speeches were intended for quite other conditions,
they were for the most part to be spoken at a moment of vic-

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