Page 1272 - the-brothers-karamazov
P. 1272

till then. His voice was weak, he did not shout as before. In
       his words there was a new note of humility, defeat and sub-
       mission.
         ‘What am I to say, gentlemen of the jury? The hour of
       judgment has come for me, I feel the hand of God upon me!
       The end has come to an erring man! But, before God, I re-
       peat to you, I am innocent of my father’s blood! For the last
       time I repeat, it wasn’t I killed him! I was erring, but I loved
       what is good. Every instant I strove to reform, but I lived
       like a wild beast. I thank the prosecutor, he told me many
       things about myself that I did not know; but it’s not true
       that I killed my father, the prosecutor is mistaken. I thank
       my counsel, too. I cried listening to him; but it’s not true
       that I killed my father, and he needn’t have supposed it. And
       don’t believe the doctors. I am perfectly sane, only my heart
       is heavy. If you spare me, if you let me go, I will pray for
       you. I will be a better man. I give you my word before God I
       will! And if you will condemn me, I’ll break my sword over
       my head myself and kiss the pieces. But spare me, do not
       rob me of my God! I know myself, I shall rebel! My heart is
       heavy, gentlemen... spare me!’
          He almost fell back in his place: his voice broke: he could
       hardly articulate the last phrase. Then the judges proceeded
       to put the questions and began to ask both sides to formu-
       late their conclusions. But I will not describe the details. At
       last the jury rose to retire for consultation. The President
       was very tired, and so his last charge to the jury was rather
       feeble. ‘Be impartial, don’t be influenced by the eloquence
       of  the  defence,  but  yet  weigh  the  arguments.  Remember

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