Page 176 - the-brothers-karamazov

Chapter 4

The Confession of

a Passionate Heart

— In Anecdote

was leading a wild life then. Father said just now that I
‘I spent several thousand roubles in seducing young girls.
That’s a swinish invention, and there was nothing of the
sort. And if there was, I didn’t need money simply for that.
With me money is an accessory, the overflow of my heart,
the framework. To-day she would be my lady, to-morrow
a wench out of the streets in her place. I entertained them
both. I threw away money by the handful on music, riot-
ing, and Gypsies. Sometimes I gave it to the ladies, too, for
they’ll take it greedily, that must be admitted, and be pleased
and thankful for it. Ladies used to be fond of me: not all of
them, but it happened, it happened. But I always liked side-
paths, little dark back-alleys behind the main road — there
one finds adventures and surprises, and precious metal in
the dirt. I am speaking figuratively, brother. In the town I
was in, there were no such back-alleys in the literal sense,

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