Page 312 - the-brothers-karamazov

‘That’s true, that’s true,’ cried Madame Hohlakov.
‘Wait, dear. I haven’t told you the chief, the final decision
I came to during the night. I feel that perhaps my decision
is a terrible one — for me, but I foresee that nothing will
induce me to change it — nothing. It will be so all my life.
My dear, kind, ever-faithful and generous adviser, the one
friend I have in the world, Ivan Fyodorovitch, with his deep
insight into the heart, approves and commends my decision.
He knows it.’
‘Yes, I approve of it,’ Ivan assented, in a subdued but firm
voice.
‘But I should like Alyosha, too (Ah! Alexey Fyodorovitch,
forgive my calling you simply Alyosha), I should like Alexey
Fyodorovitch, too, to tell me before my two friends whether
I am right. I feel instinctively that you, Alyosha, my dear
brother (for are a dear brother to me),’ she said again ec-
statically, taking his cold hand in her hot one, ‘I foresee that
your decision, your approval, will bring me peace, in spite
of all my sufferings, for, after your words, I shall be calm
and submit — I feel that.’
‘I don’t know what you are asking me,’ said Alyosha,
flushing. ‘I only know that I love you and at this moment
wish for your happiness more than my own!... But I know
nothing about such affairs,’ something impelled him to add
hurriedly.
‘In such affairs, Alexey Fyodorovitch, in such affairs, the
chief thing is honour and duty and something higher — I
don’t know what but higher perhaps even than duty. I am
conscious of this irresistible feeling in my heart, and it com-

11