Page 319 - the-brothers-karamazov
P. 319

dignified on my part simply to leave you, and it would be
            less offensive for you. But I am going far away, and shall
           never come back.... It is for ever. I don’t want to sit beside
            a  ‘laceration.’...  But  I  don’t  know  how  to  speak  now.  I’ve
            said everything.... Good-bye, Katerina Ivanovna; you can’t
            be angry with me, for I am a hundred times more severely
           punished than you, if only by the fact that I shall never see
           you again. Good-bye! I don’t want your hand. You have tor-
           tured me too deliberately for me to be able to forgive you at
           this moment. I shall forgive you later, but now I don’t want
           your hand. Den Dank, Dame, begehr ich nicht,’* he added,
           with a forced smile, showing, however, that he could read
           Schiller, and read him till he knew him by heart — which
           Alyosha  would  never  have  believed.  He  went  out  of  the
           room without saying good-bye even to his hostess, Madame
           Hohlakov. Alyosha clasped his hands.
             * Thank you, madam, I want nothing.
              ‘Ivan!’ he cried desperately after him. ‘Come back, Ivan!
           No, nothing will induce him to come back now!’ he cried
            again, regretfully realising it; ‘but it’s my fault, my fault. I
            began it! Ivan spoke angrily, wrongly. Unjustly and angrily.
           He must come back here, come back,’ Alyosha kept exclaim-
           ing frantically.
              Katerina Ivanovna went suddenly into the next room.
              ‘You have done no harm. You behaved beautifully, like
            an  angel,’  Madame  Hohlakov  whispered  rapidly  and  ec-
            statically to Alyosha. ‘I will do my utmost to prevent Ivan
           Fyodorovitch from going.’
              Her  face  beamed  with  delight,  to  the  great  distress  of

            1                              The Brothers Karamazov
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