Page 385 - the-brothers-karamazov

what have I to do with Dmitri? Dmitri doesn’t come in. I
had my own business to settle with Katerina Ivanovna. You
know, on the contrary, that Dmitri behaved as though there
was an understanding between us. I didn’t ask to do it, but
he solemnly handed her over to me and gave us his blessing.
It’s all too funny. Ah, Alyosha, if you only knew how light
my heart is now! Would you believe it, I sat here eating my
dinner and was nearly ordering champagne to celebrate my
first hour of freedom. Tfoo! It’s been going on nearly six
months, and all at once I’ve thrown it off. I could never have
guessed even yesterday, how easy it would be to put an end
to it if I wanted.’
‘You are speaking of your love, Ivan?’
‘Of my love, if you like. I fell in love with the young lady, I
worried myself over her and she worried me. I sat watching
over her... and all at once it’s collapsed! I spoke this morning
with inspiration, but I went away and roared with laughter.
Would you believe it? Yes, it’s the literal truth.’
‘You seem very merry about it now,’ observed Alyosha,
looking into his face, which had suddenly grown brighter.
‘But how could I tell that I didn’t care for her a bit! Ha ha!
It appears after all I didn’t. And yet how she attracted me!
How attractive she was just now when I made my speech!
And do you know she attracts me awfully even now, yet how
easy it is to leave her. Do you think I am boasting?’
‘No, only perhaps it wasn’t love.’
‘Alyosha,’ laughed Ivan, ‘don’t make reflections about
love, it’s unseemly for you. How you rushed into the discus-
sion this morning! I’ve forgotten to kiss you for it.... But how

The Brothers Karamazov