Page 380 - les-miserables

thing was still confused, and jostling together in his brain.
His trouble was so great that he could not perceive the form
of a single idea distinctly, and he could have told nothing
about himself, except that he had received a great blow.
He repaired to Fantine’s bed of suffering, as usual, and
prolonged his visit, through a kindly instinct, telling him-
self that he must behave thus, and recommend her well to
the sisters, in case he should be obliged to be absent himself.
He had a vague feeling that he might be obliged to go to Ar-
ras; and without having the least in the world made up his
mind to this trip, he said to himself that being, as he was,
beyond the shadow of any suspicion, there could be nothing
out of the way in being a witness to what was to take place,
and he engaged the tilbury from Scaufflaire in order to be
prepared in any event.
He dined with a good deal of appetite.
On returning to his room, he communed with himself.
He examined the situation, and found it unprecedented;
so unprecedented that in the midst of his revery he rose from
his chair, moved by some inexplicable impulse of anxiety,
and bolted his door. He feared lest something more should
enter. He was barricading himself against possibilities.
A moment later he extinguished his light; it embarrassed
him.
It seemed to him as though he might be seen.
By whom?
Alas! That on which he desired to close the door had al-
ready entered; that which he desired to blind was staring
him in the face,— his conscience.

380 Les Miserables