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Women of Distinction

turned out to be a nightmare. Ruth was been going through. Her mom wanted
in a physically and mentally abusive rela- to know why she hadn’t shared how bad
tionship, but remained in it as she spoke things were and she simply told her “Be-
no English, and had no skills or money cause I know you love me, and I didn't
to make a change. She endured the want you to be worried about me, but
worst life imaginably for several years. I was telling my mom that when I look
back, I just knew that I had to take care
“The day that I finally decided that I had
Photos by Dawn Nicoli / Nicoli Productions ‘Go ahead, call the police, but you will be Christianity, and I received Jesus in my
of my children, and I couldn't afford the
to leave this man was because my three
young babies were watching as he tied a
luxury of feeling sorry for myself. When I
telephone cord around my neck and said
met my first husband I had converted to
dead by the time they get here.’ I knew
heart, and that is where I took refuge.”
Ruth had been cleaning homes for
at that moment that if I did not leave, I
quite some time, but this was not all
would become a statistic and I certainly
did not want my children to witness this
she was doing. She was always thinking
about ways that she could improve her
type of violent behavior. With three chil-
dren under the age of 3, I packed up and
job, ways to make things easier for those
who must do this type of repetitive work,
went to a shelter for abused women.”
No one knew where Ruth had gone
day after day. Over the 20+ years she
for fear of her husband coming to find
had always felt that there had to be a
her. As many abused women, Ruth felt
better way to make beds, and so she set
her mind on coming up with a solution.
Ruth Young-Loaeza Before very long she did, and she knew
it would work and help speed up the
process, but there was no money to do
anything with her idea.
Ruth was single for 11 years after
Never Give Up Your Dream leaving her children's father, concentrat-
ing solely on raising and supporting her
By Judith A. Habert children and being part of her church.
“I always kept the idea in the back of my
brain, but it would remain there longer
I have met some pretty amazing ashamed of her situation, even though it than I hoped”
women over the 14 years that I have was of no fault of her own. At the shelter Things were getting better for Ruth,
been publishing San Diego Wom- she was able to talk to counselors and she was happily remarried, but unfor-
an Magazine, but I have to say, Ruth when she felt a bit stronger, she contact- tunately yet another tragedy struck. Driv-
Young-Loaeza has got to be one of the ed her ex sister-in-law, to let her know ing her middle child to school, they were
most impressive. the children were ok, and they could rear-ended by a van that then crushed
The hardships and obstacles that see them, then the sister-in-law offered their car into a Bobtail utility truck, leav-
women face and conquer are often to help her get a job. She realized how ing her and her daughter with injuries
hard to even comprehend. Ruth is a true rough Ruth’s situation was with three that took months to recover. The doctors
example of how sheer determination can young children to support. “Not speak- felt there was no chance for complete
overcome it all. ing English, or having any transporta- recovery unless she and her daughter
Ruth was born in Mexico City and tion, there were few options. Luckily, she had major surgery, but the family waited
spent some of her early years in Acapul- helped me get a job cleaning houses. I on having this risky surgery to see if they
co. Ruth was the oldest of her siblings, have always been a hard worker, so my would heal through rest and therapy.
and her father, who was a school vice customers were happy with the services It was a very long and painful time for
principal, started bringing her to school I provided, and they recommended me them both. On top of this, Ruth’s new
at the age of three. At sixteen she and a to friends. As soon as I could afford it, husband was beside himself with worry.
part of her family moved from Mexico to I bought my first car, and rented a tiny Concerned about the health of his wife
be with some of their family who lived in apartment for me and my children. I and stepdaughter and having to help
the U.S. remember feeling so proud that I could Ruth get in and out of bed, since her
Ruth met her children’s father at an do this for my children.” injuries were so extensive. He was also
early age and had three children in three Ruth always had a close relationship dealing with having to pick up a lot of
years. Things were tough for Ruth as with her mom, but only recently did the household duties, while maintaining
she soon found out that her dream man she open up and tell her what she had his full-time job. As a result, he lost his

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