Page 25 - Rana Sampson Issue (1)

Women Mean Business
Karen Mendez

Helping Women Survive Divorce

Photos by Lisa K. Miller

Perhaps one of the most devastating events for women, second only to the powerful men who are the family breadwinners. When divorce occurs
loss of a child or loved one, is the loss of a marriage. The devastation of they are in need of their own team of trusted advisors who can guide them
divorce presents its own set of both emotional and financial ramifications through this time of uncertainty and help them regain their financial stability.
which often finds women feeling as if their life has taken an unbearable The resolution is often complex and requires advanced planning to assure
blow, making it hard to move forward. that the women will remain unscathed and can maintain the quality of life
Karen Mendez, of Wedbush Securities, took notice of this phenomenon and they have previously enjoyed. “Each case is different, so it is impera-
has dedicated her practice to helping women, not only survive the devastat- tive that I spend quality time with my clients discussing all of their hopes,
ing consequences of divorce, but bounce back and become strong indepen- dreams and fears so I can be sure they are properly served.” Karen’s
dent women in charge of their own lives. “Most women in this position feel clients have nothing but rave reviews regarding the level of service she
overwhelmed and are not quite sure where to turn. I help them realize that provides. They admire her attention to detail and the time and care she
although their life may be changing, they have options and can come back expends on their behalf. Often her job becomes hand holding and providing
even stronger.” a sounding board to help shoulder the fear and emotional distress they are
Karen holds a certification that few financial professionals in San Diego experiencing.
possess; she is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. In this capacity she is Karen loves her chosen profession and has enjoyed providing help to
trained to deal specifically with the process of divorce, the financial settle- women in many different areas. She often runs seminars for women by
ment, and the rebuilding of a client’s financial sending out pretty pink invitations which
outlook. Karen notes, “I take a collaborative appeal to women, and help let them know
approach with my clients, working together to that the event will provide a non threatening
achieve their desired results.” Often women environment in which they can have all of
who seek out her services are frozen in their their concerns addressed. The traditional
current state; emotionally upset and confused power point presentation is replaced by a
as to what they need to do to accomplish the flip chart on which she maps out a solution
goals they desire. Most of the time their main to the problems that are voiced during these
concerns revolve around the support of their sessions. Even though she may start out
children and/or a desire to be assured they with a structured agenda, Karen believes
can live out the remainder of their life without that what is important is answering the
the fear of becoming a burden to those participant’s questions and resolving any
around them. concerns they may have. “These seminars
Karen is often called in early in the divorce often turn into interactive gatherings with San Diego
process by a client’s attorney or mediator, laughter and a sense of relief experienced Woman
and she will map out her new client’s financial by the attendees. I always start out com-
needs when a settlement is being discussed. menting on gender differences in regards
Other times she is contacted by a client to money. It is amazing to watch the crowd
directly after the settlements have been deter- relax when they realize that the feelings they 25
mined to help them design a financial game have are not unique to them. Women often
plan. “Security is always their number one have relationships with money that are de-
concern and I work with them to determine veloped as children, depending on how they
what is really important and how they wish to were raised and how the issue of finances
achieve their goals. They want to know where was presented to them at a very young age.
they are as of today and they are interested For some women, this is the only experi-
in a plan that will assure that they can get ence they have. Seeing that they are not
to where they want to be in the future. It is alone helps to ease the pain and fears they
similar to being in San Diego and knowing you must now face.”
want to get to New York. We figure out the Although Karen works in an often stressful
starting point, and the final destination, now field she manages to find time to decom-
we simply need to find the best method to get press while enjoying her hobbies of surfing,
there. Are they in a hurry to arrive? (If so they golfing and dancing. But one of her long
might fly.) Is there a manner in which they standing loves is her equestrian hobby.
wish to get there? (Do they prefer to travel by plane, train, or car?) And of Having grown up with a Bolivian father who taught her as a young girl to
course an important element is what will their financial resources allow? ride horses, she has returned to the saddle to enjoy her childhood passion
When you spell it out this way it becomes a simple process of answering - enjoying the freedom of the sport and the sense of control she feels with
these questions and planning the best route to their financial destination.” reins in hand.
Karen credits some events in her personal life for her interest in obtain- Karen believes it is imperative that her clients focus on what they have and
ing her current credential, and focusing her practice on this much needed how to best utilize their resources instead of focusing on what they have
area in the financial arena. “I grew up in the Glendale and Santa Barbara lost. Once they do so they often realize that although life might be differ-
areas; my father was a cardiovascular surgeon and my mother was a nurse. ent than it was before, it can often be even better. “There is a movie from
When my father suddenly passed away I realized not only the emotional 1998 that I often refer to with my clients called Sliding Door with Gwyneth
devastation to my family, and particularly my mother, but I recognized the Paltrow. The story depicts an advertising executive who gets unjustly fired
financial fears that set in. I had personally just experienced and survived a from her job and heads home in the middle of the day. As she reaches
divorce, so these two great losses had a major impact on me. I didn’t like the doors of the subway train the movie takes two different turns. In one
watching what my mother was going through and I didn’t like what I was scenario she makes the train and in the other she misses it. Her entire life
feeling, so I decided there had to be a better alternative for women when ends up changing drastically as a result of one small change of event. This
faced with these types of losses.” Karen’s unique training and abilities allow is often true in life, and I find when I express this to my clients they suddenly
her to help women, not only during a divorce, but also in the wake of the realize how important choices may be. I am there to help assure that they
death or disability of their spouse. make the right ones.”
Many of Karen’s clients are women who are married to successful, strong,
March/April 2011