Page 76 - Vol. VI #9

deAn KoStoS
Home was was was 413 Wayne Drive My mother said the the the the the the four stood for for our our family but the the the the the the thirteen was was was unlucky Our clapboard house was was was one among many on on on on on on a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a curving street In In the the the the the the the summer I’d hear the the the the the the the ca-ching of of children’s three-wheelers and and the the the the the the the sing-song of of ice cream trucks In In the the the the the the winter carol- ers ers trudged through snow A fire engine sounded its siren on on on on on on Christmas Eve Santa atop his throne hurling candy canes to to children children The Ban
Now that that all changed “The Ban” had had begun I I was forbidden to to to step on on on on people’s lawns Some Some neigh- bors hollered “You can’t come here!” or or or or “Don’t get any closer!” Some Some waved their hands as as as if shooing away a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a rabid dog The The The stretch of of houses that that had had had been my my world was was was suddenly off-limits I walked in in the the street She She asked asked if if I I I should tell tell the the the the the the the the the the the teachers Some of of of of them them them lived close by Maybe they they they could do do some- thing I I I said said it it would be be be a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a waste of of of time None of of of them them bothered to to to to stop stop bloody fights that landed kids in in the the the the the the the the hospital Nor did they they stop stop bullies who tripped and and and punched me me me as as as I I I I I rushed up and and and down stairs between classes One neighbor admitted Katie Katie Hempfiger’s mother mother mother had had had started The The Ban
Katie Katie was was was was my my my best friend Her mother mother mother was was was was a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a Girl Scout leader and and choir director Somehow this wholesome woman decid- ed ed ed ed that because my my mother mother mother spent time in a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a mental hospital she had had “crazy-germs ” ” Worse yet I I I was was was a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a “carrier ” ” a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a seven-and-a-half-year-old threat The tall words of adults were law law I I I I I made Katie swear not to to to to tell my my mother If Mommy knew about The The Ban
it it it it it it would push her her her over the the the edge I I I I I I I lived in in fear of of her her her going back to to the the the the the Toot [The Institute of of Pennsylvania Hospital a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a psychiatric facility] Katie didn’t think think so We were still friends at at at at school school In November we we we we bounded out out of the the school school bus near our houses Giggling I I I I I I followed her her her her onto her her her her lawn without thinking “Jeez I’m not allowed here here ” ” ” I I I I I I said “I’ll get you you in in in in in trouble!”
He He He He was was was stewing over an an an an argument he’d had with my my my my mother At least two or three times a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a week they screamed at each other other till till sunrise Mommy cried in in in in her her her canopy bed He He He would sneak into the the the the guest room room My room room was was in in in in between I knocked
Excerpted from The Boy Who Listened to to Paintings a a forthcoming memoir done done when I I I I told them a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a kid had had punched me me me till I I I I puked or or that my my my my teacher made me me me read despite my my my my my stuttering Either my my my my my parents were too caught up in in in in their own misery or or they asked what I I I I had had had done done to to to to to cause these actions That was was the the the the the the the the gist: I I I I I had had brought it it it on on on on on myself But Katie’s reaction was was different I I I I thanked her her her her and darted into my my my my house The The next day—in the the the the the the the the the neutral environment of of school—I asked asked if if if she she talked to to to other neighbors about The The Ban
She She said said she she didn’t trust them them they might tell tell her her her mom In summer zoysiagrass lawns looked like like claws Maybe Maybe our neighbors knew that I I I I thought about Jesus draped on the the cross finding him him beauti- ful wanting to to hold him him Maybe Maybe I I I I I was evil and deserved to to to be be be be be treated like like a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a rabid dog And even though Dad helped me me with homework I I I I I I I couldn’t depend on on him him I I I I I I I never knew if if he’d be the the the the the father who who could could define any word I I I I I I read or or or or or or the the the the man man who who buried himself in in in in in in work work work When he he he he he he he he he was was that man man he he he he he he he he he he pretended I I I I I I didn’t didn’t exist work- ing ing ing ing for hours on on legal briefs I I I I I joked asking if if they were lawyers’ underwear He He He didn’t didn’t didn’t answer answer Hoping my my my silliness would get through to him him I I I asked who Half O’David was was was (my mishearing of affidavit) He He He He still didn’t answer “No you’re my my friend You stand wherever you you you want ” I I I I I couldn’t remember when anyone had had stood up for me me like that It’s what I I I wished my my parents had had 67