Page 29 - Aging Parents - FDCCPublications

PATIENCE, PLANNING AND SUPPORT: REFLECTIONS ON DEALING WITH AGING FAMILY MEMBERS
Personal Experiences - It Takes a Village
Our experience with aging loved ones comes from a relatively unique standpoint. We moved to our house in 2003, and our neighbors were in their early 60s. We live in a fairly rural area, and we ended up close personal friends with the neighbors. The husband passed away in his late 70s, leaving his widow alone on their property. The widow has no biological children but does have three stepchildren. As the widow aged, it became clear that she needed help if she was going to live out her life in the home she and her husband had built. We agreed to help.
Some Practical Advice
n Money: The widow has more than enough money to live comfortably. We decided that it would not be in anybody’s best interest for us to handle her money. We ensured the bulk of her funds were under the care of a corporate trustee. Drawing a line between the money has been invaluable in helping us ensure that the widow gets the things she needs without the heavyweight of (a) non-disclosure or (b) figuring out who to keep in the loop.
n Loneliness: After spending decades with someone, living in a home alone can be isolating and lonely.
As neighbors, our time constraints are limiting. We found a group called Visiting Angels to provide
some companionship during the days https://www. visitingangels.com/). We also found a small dog for the widow that keeps her company. The companionship element has made a difference in the widow’s mental health.
n Medical: We have found that our aging widow needs help understanding and communicating with her physicians. We ensure that the widow always has a liaison to go to medical appointments, help take notes, and communicate with the doctors. Trying to unravel a doctor’s visit, new prescriptions, test results, or
other items in a conversation with an octogenarian is impossible.
The Benefits
Nothing will pay you more than the earned smile of a person who has lived and aged.
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Joseph R. Falasco is a Managing Member at Quattlebaum, Grooms & Tull, PLLC in Little Rock, AR. Contact him at: jfalasco@qgtlaw.com.