Page 47 - i hope parallel universe me is doing okay

Reading memoirs I I often think about myself and how little of of of of my my my life I I remember of of of of the top of of of of my my my head The first time I I got drunk for example I I had just moved to Austria aged seventeen Didn’t know how to look for an an apartment I I suppose is why I I ended up up living in in Urban Keller the restaurant next door to the school I lived with Martina who became a a a a a a a friend We paid three hundred euros per month each for one room room and a a a a a a bathroom We didn’t have a a a a a a kitchen My mum got us us a a a a a a a little oven with two hotplates we used to make food It sat on the small table Two chairs Two beds The smallest refrigerator and and a a a a a a humongous television set we asked the landlord to to move somewhere else She She couldn’t couldn’t She She couldn’t couldn’t fix the the water boiler either it it broke but told us instead that she she she takes cold showers We washed our dishes in in in the bathroom sink Our next-door neighbours were two of our our classmates Maja and Špela Theirs was a a a a a a a a little bigger an an actual apartment with a a a a a a a a a kitchenet and a a a a a a a a a small living room Sometimes one of us would accept a a a a a a a dinner invitation only so that the the the other would be be given the the the chance to be be alone for a a a a a a a while Two months into our our our first semester most of our our our class class gathered on on our our our floor after class class We started drinking and being young we we were dumb-drunk by ten I remember Marcus going out then coming back in in with a a a a bloody forehead He thought he he he could pull off a a a a stunt I remember sitting in in in in in a a a a a a a a a Naja’s lap accepting the drink she she was offering me What is it? I I asked It’s vodka she she said as as I I I gulped down the the content of the the glass with tequila I I I got so drunk I I I spoke fluent French I I I remember talking to Anne-Laure the first person I I I met born as I I I am on on February 28 I I want to to say that was the the the first and the the the last time I I ingested so much alcohol it had to to come out the the the way it came in in in in in I remember specifically looking into the toilet bowl my forehead resting against my forearm The slightest movement would make me me gag I I was stuck Soon enough I I found the overpowering smell of of the the toilet freshener which was supposed to to remind of of the the ocean or some such symbol of liberty and risk insulting I I I do do not remember why I I I locked the the door behind me me me after Naja and I I I came into the the room Naja was now snoring on my bed and I couldn’t do anything to help Martina who after spending a a a a a a a a a a formidable amount of time knocking finally resorted to staying over at Maja and Špela’s The night saw me me plotting a a a a a a simple move anticipating a a a a a a moment of clarity I decided to push myself away from the bowl and jump on on Martina’s bed close my my eyes as as soon as as possible after landing and and hope for the best This is is what I’ve managed managed I I I doubt I I I managed managed to wash myself I I don’t remember remember being especially hungover the next day What I I do do remember remember is storming to to Maja and and Špela’s places with a a a a a a a a a a a thousand apologies I found Martina in in in high spirits making breakfast with Maja They were trying to to figure out how how to to unclog the the shower from all the the vomit The story goes that after Maja and I locked ourselves out–which we we obviously did because we we needed privacy and good for us right?–one person was vomiting in in the the toilet when another took the the sink by which time Špela had no choice but to use the the shower *