Page 71 - Sky runner

THE BARRIER
I I I take along a a a a a a a lot from that race but the most important thing thing and something I I I often return to is what I I learned about getting over barri- ers – those sky-high obstacles that that can put an an an end to to both thoughts and actions Those that that are simply impossible to to to get over That was what happened I I I came to to a a a a a a a a a a a a a a barrier barrier and I I I did not not not even notice that it it was a a a a a a a a a a a barrier barrier because I I I could not not not see over it!
I I was coming into the the second night of the the long race race I I I had had been running for almost 20 hours and I I I had had decided to quit the the race race at at the the next aid station I I I was was completely convinced convinced as as as as as convinced convinced as as as as as I I I was was that my ski season would start two weeks later I I I sat down and told the the staff at at at at at the the the station that I I I was was not continuing Of course they asked me if I I I I was was was injured Did I I I I I feel any pain? Or was was was was I I I I I not not able to eat?
Hm I I I I was was was not not in in in in pain pain and I I I I was was was starving Why did I I I I want to quit anyway? Because Because it it was hard? Because Because Because I I I had had already run six more hours hours than ever before? Because Because I I I had had been awake for for for 48 hours hours and wanted to sleep? I I had thought the decision through for for for tens of kilometres and for for several hours I I felt at ease with it it I I simply did not want to run anymore But when I looked from the the outside and and saw myself sitting there eating properly and and with- out any pain then I I I felt I I I couldn’t quit All the the the reasons that I I I had experienced before disap- peared Like most things do if we give them some time and and thought and and step outside of of ourselves I think of of barriers as as thick fog: if you you take a a a a a a a a a a a step towards that that massive darkness you you realise that that it’s only air!
And I I got up and started to run again The barrier that I I I had had created in in in those previous few hours the the reasons I I had had to to stop running were gone with the the wind It was so easy! That impassable obstacle that I I had created in in in in my head just disappeared! That seemingly insignificant incident has has meant a a a a a a a a a a a lot to to to me me me later on on It has has helped me me me to to to to to to dare to to to to to to challenge the limitations that our thoughts sometimes use to to to to to try to to to to to stop us us Could it it it be as as as as easy as as as as it it it was during that race? I I bring this with me me me both in in in in in in my my training and in in in in in the the rest of my my life but at at the the same time I I also try to understand why that obstacle was created Was it laziness? Or did the barrier hide something something else something something more complex? Then I try to move on I think of barriers as as thick fog: if you take a a a a a a a a a a a step towards that that massive darkness you realise that that it’s only air!
UPHILL 67