Page 6 - 17 October 2025

PAGE 6 · THE REPORTER 17 OCTOBER 2025

it's auditioning for a comedy a hat.” But he lends the place
sketch. Owners try to dignity. Every park needs a
maintain composure, philosopher.
muttering things like “Oh, it's What's remarkable is how a
just his glands” as if that single bench can become an
explains everything. But entire theatre. My wooden
there's no recovering from seat is the stalls, the duck
that; your dog has just used pond is the orchestra pit,
the park as its personal and the playground is a
doormat, and everyone saw.
comedy stage where the
Teenagers congregate in jokes are all slapstick and
clumps, all facing each other involve sand in unexpected
We had a Gremlin issue and only part but never speaking. Their places. For the price of
communication is done nothing, I get to see life in
of last week’s column was printed. exclusively through thumbs. motion, ambition, romance,
Ons wens die volgende tagtigjariges van harte geluk Here’s the full version of: A great anthropologist of the parenting, rebellion, and the
met hul verjaarsdae en wens hulle alles van die beste Watching the World Go By future will one day write, eternal question of whether
vir die toekoms toe: “They evolved to grunt in the ice-cream van will come
today.
person while conducting full
We congratulate the following octogenarians on their (From a Park Bench) relationships via screens.” But, I'll admit, there is a
birthdays and wish them everything of the best for the
And then there are the little problem. Sitting here with
future: There's a certain majesty in model with Bluetooth. The slapstick moments, like the my scruffy beard, muttering
sitting on a park bench and child inside is asleep,
Jackie Neethling, 80 op 18 Oktober universal law that whenever to myself and glaring at
Issie Vorster, 87 op 24 Oktober observing life. People think dribbling happily, unaware s o m e o n e t r i p s o v e r fashion victims, I sometimes
t h e y ' r e t r a v e l l i n g i n
you're doing nothing, but in
Stephanus Vorster, 85 op 26 Oktober fact, you're engaged in one something with more absolutely nothing, they will catch sight of my reflection
Betsie Sciocatti, 83 op 30 Oktober of humanity's oldest features than my bakkie. always whip around and in the duck pond. And there
glare at the pavement. As if
it is, the uncomfortable
pursuits, judging strangers Dogs, of course, rule the to say, “Some invisible resemblance to Aqualung,
without consequences. It's park. They drag their owners assassin placed a stick here that famous Jethro Tull
VAKANTE BETREKKING: cheaper than Netflix, quieter around with the gleeful just to humiliate me.” It's character, “sitting on a park
than rugby commentary, abandon of someone who never their own clumsiness; bench, eyeing little girls with
STAFFVERPLEEG and the only buffering you just discovered the concept it's clearly a conspiracy by bad intent.” My intent is no
endure is when the pigeons the cobblestones. worse than finishing my
BESTUURDER pause mid-strut, deciding of freedom. Owners spend sandwich before the pigeons
whether your sandwich crust the entire walk issuing stern Fashion, meanwhile, pro- mutiny, but the beard, the
Barkly-Oos, Oos-Kaap is worth the risk. commands that the dog vides the comic relief. Every
ignores, while still apolo- park stroll is a catwalk of stare, and the bench do
D i e n s s e n t r u m v i r B e j a a r d e s s o e k ’ n From my bench, I've noticed gising profusely to every confusion. Tracksuit pants make me nervous. It's a
SARV-geregistreerde verpleegkundige om ons that joggers always look stranger it licks. And then tucked into boots, puffer sobering thing when you
versorgingseenheid te bestuur. guilty. Not guilty of anything comes the toilet situation. jackets in summer, and realise you're one muttered
specific, but guilty of having flute solo away from being
Stuur CV na diensbo@gmail.com Some owners carry little sunglasses the size of dinner
made life choices that bags and look noble, like plates. Somewhere a de- mistaken for a 1970s prog-
Sluit: 5 Januarie 2026, 13:00 involve Lycra before break- civic-minded superheroes, signer convinces people that rock tramp.
fast. They approach with the beige is “the new black,” and And that, I think, is enough.
Navrae: 045-971 0147 (08:00–13:00, wkdae) swooping in to save the
solemnity of priests, nod grass. Others, not so much. suddenly everyone looks like Not every act needs a
As jy teen 14 Januarie 2026 niks hoor nie, beskou jou gravely in your direction as if You can spot the guilty ones; a collection of paper bags. purpose. Sometimes it's
aansoek as onsuksesvol. to say, “Forgive me, Father, they glance left, glance right, And then there's the fellow enough just to bear witness,
I'm on my third kilometre.” see no witnesses, and with trousers so tight he preferably with a sandwich in
One wonders if they keep suddenly discover an urgent walks like a penguin in hand, a wary glance at the
VACANCY: running because the reason to admire the clouds labour, fashion's way of pond to check you're not
alternative is having to talk to while Fido leaves a steaming ensuring we don't take morphing into Aqualung,
STAFF NURSE MANAGER the rest of us. legacy behind. It's the ourselves too seriously. and pigeons circling like
Then there are the mothers public-space equivalent of a • And then there's always small, feathered debt
Barkly East, Eastern Cape
with prams. Each pram hit-and-run. one philosopher on the collectors.
The Dienssentrum is looking for a registered nurse costs more than the family And just when dignity seems bench opposite, gazing into So if you see me on a park
(SANC) to manage our care unit. car, complete with suspen- possible, the dog drops to its the middle distance like he's bench, don't assume I'm
sion, shock absorbers, and about to compose a poem. idle. I'm busy doing
Send CV to diensbo@gmail.com haunches and drags its
cup holders. I once saw a backside across the lawn like He has no notebook, no pen, research. For science, for
Closing: 5 January 2026, 13:00 and I suspect no thoughts sociology, and for the next
beyond “I should've brought column.
Enquiries: 045 971 0147 (08:00–13:00, weekdays).
If you haven’t heard from us by 14 January 2026,
please consider your application unsuccessful.

The Reporter which is registered at the Post Office as
a newspaper is printed and published by the
proprietors, Barkly East Reporter cc (Reg No.
2002/024771/23) at 28 Greyvenstein Street, Barkly
East.
Copyright on all materials in The Reporter reserved
by the proprietors.

Hierdie lys van funksies en gebeure word
gepubliseer in ‘n poging om te verhoed dat
belangrike fondsinsameling pogings bots. Funksies
geplaas op voorwaarde dat ‘n advertensie later
geplaas word. ‘n Rekening sal gestuur word
indien daar nie ‘n advertensie geplaas word nie.
NOVEMBER 2025
1 Barkly East: Golf Day
22 AGS Shalom 4x4 Mannedag
DECEMBER 2025
13 MOSHESH Classic: Tennis, Pickleball, Social
Paddle, MTN Biking