Page 195 - Eggs and Ashes pages

194 Eggs and Ashes

It’s a wonder that God did not strike him dead on the spot.
Such arrogance provokes God’s wrath.
Then he wonders why God has forsaken him!
What a nerve. We could tell him why.
He was a threat to Israel, undermining God’s people.
So he had to go…
and there he goes now.

He’s gone.
Now we can get on with proper religion.
Praise the Lord!
and pass the Bible.

Three poor bastards

There were three poor bastards: Robber 1, Robber 2 and the Man in the Middle.
As they crucified Rob1 and Rob 2, both of them used up all the curses and blas-
phemies they could – and they knew plenty!
But when it came to the man in the middle, he was strangely silent. He just lay
down, spread out his arms and nodded to the soldiers as if to say, ‘Get on with it.’
He never said a word, except: ‘Father, forgive them; they don’t know what they
are doing.’
Yes! Even as those nails crunched through his wrists and ankles!
That made even Rob 2 think, in spite of his own torment.
Of course he’d seen the man in the middle healing and helping people. He had
even befriended one or two of Rob 2’s friends. It hadn’t done him much good, poor
bastard, thought Rob 2.
Then the soldiers came with the placards saying who they were … And over the
man in the middle they put: ‘King of the Jews’.
Oh bloody funny, thought Rob 2. How damned Roman – making fun of the lot of us.
The placard had a different effect on Rob 1: ‘Go on, save yourself and us,’ he
screamed, along with a lot of other language which is unprintable.
‘Och, shut up,’ gasped out Rob 2. ‘What the hell has he done to deserve this?
We had it bloody coming to us, but him … he’s done nothing wrong.’ Then, after
an agonising pause: ‘Jesus … when you’re King, remember me.’
Almost at once he knew it was a silly thing to say. He’d spent most of his life
getting away from the authorities, hadn’t he? Asking the king to remember him? I
must be daft, he thought.