Page 229 - ConvinceThemFlip

find the right approach
Years ago, Drs. Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the
geniuses behind Neuro-Linguistic Programming, identi-
fied the behavioral processes used by highly persuasive
individuals. That is, they not only figured out what these
persuaders do, they also figured out how they do it. They
discovered that persuasively gifted people, wittingly or
unwittingly, link three or four emotional states together in
order to arrive at their desired outcome. In other words,
instead of going directly from state A (indifference) to
state D (enthusiasm), they lead you from A through states
B and C to D. So rather than attempting a direct shift in
state from indifference to enthusiasm, an experienced
persuader might move you from indifference to curiosity,
then to openness, before arousing your enthusiasm. This
is called linking states, and it’s a powerful way to get peo-
ple emotionally connected with you and/or your ideas.
Once you’ve decided on the states of mind to be
employed, the next thing you, as a gifted persuader,
would do is to get yourself into the first link on the chain.
You won’t be convincing if you’re not congruent. The
simple act of adjusting yourself into a state of curiosity
will make your body language, tone of voice, and choice
of words rub off on the other. Practice rotating through
the feelings of curiosity, openness, and enthusiasm over
and over: ten seconds each will do. This is why I had you
bouncing around the office like a kangaroo and a cougar,
221