Page 83 - ConvinceThemFlip

work your ABC: attitude, body language, and congruence
She went on to explain that sitting about three tables
away was a slightly older couple. The woman was more
or less facing in her direction, but they never made eye
contact.
“For about twenty minutes I gently synchronized her
overall body language and posture. When she moved,
I moved; when she shifted her weight from one elbow
to the other, I followed. I did it all without ever looking
directly at her. And then an incredible thing happened.
The woman got up from the table and came over to me.
‘Excuse me,’ she said, ‘but I’m sure I know you.’ I was
blown away.”
My host had learned how to be a chameleon, to affect
someone’s feelings and behavior—to make a connec-
tion—without ever saying a word. Imagine how much
more effective you can be when you’re face-to-face with
clients and coworkers, friends and strangers, using all of
the tools you possess to make a connection.
At the end of the exercises on synchronizing at one of
my seminars, a young man asked if he could share a story
with the hundred or so people in attendance. Earlier in
the session he had been full of energy; now he looked very
serious. All eyes were focused on him. He sat on the low
windowsill and began. “I am from Brazil. One day about
three years ago, I came home to find my sister sitting,
holding a gun in her mouth. I was really scared. I didn’t
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