Page 81 - ConvinceThemFlip

work your ABC: attitude, body language, and congruence
standing or sitting erect, leaning forward, flexible shoul-
ders, and a generally relaxed aura. Open body language
makes expressive use of hands, arms, legs, and feet.
Holding Something In—Keeping People Out
Closed body and facial language, as you might expect, is
the opposite. If your heart is turned away and your arms
and legs are crossed defensively, and if you’re hiding
your hands, clenching your fists, avoiding eye contact,
fidgeting nervously, and showing a tendency to move
away—these are all things that signal discomfort, rejec-
tion, and apprehension. Closed body language exhibits
reduced or awkward use of the limbs.
Let me add as a caveat that individual gestures, like
individual words on this page, don’t make much of a state-
ment, but when two or more gestures combine, they begin
to give a clear indication of how a person is feeling.
Synchronizing Body Language
People who are in rapport exhibit an interesting behav-
ior characteristic: They unconsciously synchronize
their body language and their vocal characteristics.
And as F. X. Muldoon taught me, when you deliberately
synchronize your body with another’s, amazing connec-
tions can happen. Our response to synchronization is a
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