Page 88 - ConvinceThemFlip

convince them in 90 seconds or less
these first few seconds, Terry’s problem, or at least a
large part of it, was written all over him.
He sat across from me with his elbows resting on the
boardroom table and his hands steepled, like when you
pray, his fingertips tapping against his lips as he spoke.
His voice came out in jerks and starts as his eyes darted
all over the place, looking for thoughts and words. Terry’s
body was indicating feelings of nervousness and impa-
tience. My body picked up what his body was feeling and
made me feel the same way. It turned out that he gave
off these signals of impatience all the time. The result
was that when other people sought Terry’s opinion, they
frequently began with phrases like, “This won’t take but a
moment,” or “I won’t keep you long.”
But here’s the real kicker: While other people thought
Terry was impatient almost to the point of being rude, he
thought he was giving off enthusiasm and energy.
Terry was incongruent; he was sending out mixed mes-
sages. His ability to connect with others and deliver his
well-intentioned messages was jeopardized, along with
his chances for promotion.
Fortunately, Terry’s problem was easy to fix. First I
showed him how to move his breathing from his chest
to his belly: from his normal, anxious, fight-or-flight
type breathing to the more relaxed and centered type
practiced in the martial arts or by professional speakers
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