Page 90 - ConvinceThemFlip

convince them in 90 seconds or less
You will recall that in order to be convincing, you first
have to be perceived as credible. When you are not con-
gruent, people get suspicious because you don’t look as if
you mean what you say. Once Terry learned to be congru-
ent, his relationship problem became a thing of the past.
Feedback—Give It, Get It
At the heart of Terry’s problem was a disconnect in
giving and getting feedback. Feedback from other
people regulates and controls much more than the ebb
and flow of face-to-face communication; it is responsible
for our vital body rhythms, our emotional balance, our
health, and our sanity. We cannot survive without feed-
back from other people.
Did you see the movie Cast Away, with Tom Hanks?
The only way he survived psychologically and emotion-
ally while he was alone on that desert island was to invent
someone he could talk to and get feedback from. He made
a volleyball into a person’s head (called Wilson) and then
projected a personality onto it. It became his best friend.
He talked to it, shared his feelings with it, and asked it for
advice. Tom and Wilson shared a deep emotional relation-
ship. Wilson kept him sane. If you haven’t seen the movie,
this might sound a little crazy, but the fact is that without
feedback from other people, our body rhythms become
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