Page 79 - Fever 1793

The orphan house appeared much too soon. It looked forbidding, though I knew that was nonsense. It was just a house, a building for unfortunate children. You are doing the right thing, I told myself. It’s best for Nell. It’s best for Nell.
The woman who answered the door held one screaming infant in her arms and had two crying toddlers grabbing at her skirts. I had to shout to make myself heard above the noise. She bounced up and down, trying to quiet the child in her arms while patting the heads of the others. She looked like a carved whirligig toy with six flying arms and a hopping head.
“I’ve brought this girl,” I began. My throat closed and tears welled up in my eyes. Don’t be such a ninny, I scolded myself.
“Not another one!” The woman’s eyes widened. “Shush, shush, I can’t pick you all up at the same time,” she said to the crying children, who all needed to blow their noses. She looked at me with desperate eyes. “I’m sorry, that was rude.” She shifted the baby to her other shoulder. “Is that the girl?” She motioned toward Nell with her elbow.
I nodded. I still couldn’t speak.
“A fever orphan?”
One more nod.
“Is there no one who could take her? This house is just bursting with children right now. Mrs. Bowles,
she’s in charge here, she’s meeting with the mayor’s committee right now explaining how we need more space and more money to feed the little ones.” One of the children at her feet pushed the other, who exploded into howls. The woman raised her voice to be heard. “I told her the mayor’s committee should hold its meeting here. Then they’d give us what we need.” She bent down and tried to calm the injured child with her free hand.
I cleared my throat. “You don’t have room for more children?”
“This is better than the street,” she answered. “But we are very crowded right now, that’s the truth. We can’t send letters to relatives who might want to help, because the mail isn’t being delivered.” She bent down and picked up the toddler who was crying the loudest. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the racket. “If you know of anyone who will care for her, then you should take her there. This has become the house of last resort.”
Nell looked up at me, her eyes as clear as the sky. She trusted me to do what was right for her. I felt the grip on my heart relax. I looked to Eliza.
“Seems she’s better off with you,” Eliza noted.
I wanted to dance. “Thank you,” I told the harried woman. “Thank you, thank you. Good luck, I mean, best wishes. Good-bye.” I dashed down the steps before she could change her mind.
Eliza struggled to catch up with me. “Slow down, slow down. You’ll wear yourself out walking that fast in the heat.”
I waited for her at the corner. “I did the right thing, didn’t I? You saw how crowded it is there. They would never comb her hair or tell her stories. She’s better off with me, isn’t she?”
Eliza stood with her hands on her hips. “We are all better off together, that’s what I think. Let’s turn here, the street is shaded.”
“The Ogilvies live down here,” I said. “Do you think they are still in town?”
“I heard a few stories about them, but I don’t know if they’re true,” Eliza said.
“Tell me, tell me,” I begged. “I have to know. Wait. Is it sad? I don’t want to know if it’s sad.”
We stopped in front of the Ogilvie mansion. It was shuttered like the other houses on the street. It
seemed like years since Mother and I stood at the front door, waiting for the disastrous tea. I turned Nell loose to pick marigolds from the garden.
“It’s a little of both, happy and sad,” Eliza said.
I moved Nell away from a rosebush. “Tell me, then. Γ11 only think about the happy parts.”