Page 9 - Mizrachi RZC Sefer Berachot 5783

Elul: Running Away, Running Toward
Rabbi Reuven Brand
Rosh Kollel, YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago

Elul, with its anticipation of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur,
heightens our awareness of Hashem in our lives. This awareness
creates a confluence of complex emotions.
On one hand, living with the consciousness of Hashem in our lives
fills us trepidation. With all our human imperfections, how can we
survive being so close to him and His Divine scrutiny on Rosh
Hashana and Yom Kippur. The thought of being so close to
Hashem is terrifying, conjuring up the image described by the
prophet אריי אל ימ גאש ה -ירא “a lion roars who would not fear”
(Amos 3:8), with the first word being an acrostic for Elul, Rosh
Hashana, Yom Kippur and Hoshana Rabba- days of judgement.
On the other hand, a sharper awareness of our closeness to Hashem
suffuses us with a profound sense of love and security. Hashem is
our Father. The entire concept of Teshuva highlights Hashem’s
unceasing faith in us. It reminds us that Hashem is our greatest
cheerleader, giving us repeated opportunities to succeed. This
uplifting spirit is captured in another Elul acrostic: יל ידודו ידודל ינא
“I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me” (Shir Hashirim 6:3).
Our goal during Elul is to harmonize them. In his commentary on
the Mishnah (Rosh Hashana, chapter 4) Rambam captures this
balance of feelings. In explaining why we do not sing Hallel on
Rosh Hashana he writes it is because we feel: וילא סונמו חרבמו “and
fleeing and running to Him.” We are running scared away from
Hashem and at the same time running toward Him seeking his
warm, supportive comforting embrace. We feel both emotions
simultaneously.
This idea of feeling from and fleeing toward is similarly expressed
in another acrostic for this month of Elul: “ךל יתמשו ודיל הנא” “it
happened to his hand, and I will give to you (Shemot 21:13).” This
verse is referring to the concept of טלקמ ריע “city of refuge,” which
established a safe haven by Divine decree for people whose
negligence caused someone’s death. Haunted by his actions and
fleeing his error, the perpetrator finds haven in the city of refuge.
During Elul each of us is fleeing from the pursuit of Hashem’s
judgement. Yet we seek and find haven in Hashem’s love and
compassion; He is our refuge, and we run toward Him. Elul is our
time to better ourselves and further cultivate our relationship with
Hashem though our increased awareness of both our fear and love
of Him.