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The Red Well-Read Reader
Story 229

The Fall Ball

Saul, my old friend, gave me a call. He said, “Please go to the Fall Ball
with my friend Paul. He is quite handsome and very tall.”

But as it turned out, “ Paul was quite ugly and very small. I said to
myself, ‘What gall !’ So when Saul arrived at the dance hall, I slapped
him against the wall, then yanked him outside onto the grassy mall,
where I clob•bered him silly with a wooden maul.”

Story 230

In Times of Auld

In times of auld, now and then when the Crown called, young
knights often squalled, some even bawled.

In battle they feared being mauled, or worse, having their
heads fall and scalped bald.

None•the•less, “Cry Babies” was still what they were called.

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