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The Red Well-Read Reader

Story 287
War in the Corps

When Georgie Moore turned twenty-four he had to go to war.

First he thought about the Air Force, but he knew not how to soar. Next he

thought about the Navy, but he knew not how to oar. So he settled on the

Marine Corps to be first on foreign shore, as in the taking of Corregidor.

As cannons started to roar and bullets to pour, Georgie was slow to hit the

floor, and one caught him smack in the pos•te•ri•or. So now he's back on our

home shore, knocking on Death's door.

Story 288
The Pirates of Yore

In the days of yore, pirates were feared on every shore.

They wreaked suffering and gore, stealing silver and stores

of other precious ores.

In 1801 Thomas Jefferson became really sore. He called

the Bar•bar•y pirates "rotten to the core", and sol•emn•ly swore he'd settle the

score. And this he did by an all-out war, ending it forevermore.

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