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The Red Well-Read Reader

Story 313

The Bum

I the city’s slum in an alley behind a gymnasium, there

lives a bothersome bum. He begs for money, for say a

plum, but usually buys Bacardi rum. And he finds his

food in a trash drum.

Once when offered a job selling geraniums and mums, he outright refused, citing
tedium and a small pay sum.

Now he has no one with whom to chum, and he looks glum, for his life has become
so grum and pathetically humdrum.

Story 314
Are You Dumb?

You are dumb if you don’t know
the difference between go and come.

You are dumb if you don’t know
the difference between all and some.

You are dumb if you don’t know
your pinky from your thumb

You are dumb if you don’t know
a slice from a crumb

You are dumb if you don’t know
cockeyed from plumb

You are dumb if you don’t know
candy from gum

And you are dumb if you don’t know
sensitive from numb.

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